The Newborn
by Chanelvamp
Summary: What if Bella hadn't so much selfcontrol when she woke up as vampire in Breaking dawn? How would that influence the story? In this version Bella behaves more like a 'normal' newborn. Breaking dawn part 2 AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: My first story, yippie. The idea came from a discussion me and a friend had after reading Breaking dawn. We thought Bella had it a bit too easy and started wondering how it would have been if she acted like real newborn. This story is a result of my imagination developed from that discussion.

I want to thank Dooba, who gave me some very useful advice on some things. Also a big thank you to Simaril, who had the patience to beta this chapter.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

_The fire constricted, concentrating inside that one remaining human organ with a final, unbearable surge. The surge was answered by a deep, hollow-sounding thud. My heart stuttered twice, and then thudded quietly again just once more._

_There was no sound. No breathing. Not even mine._

_For a moment, the absence of pain was all I could comprehend._

_And then I opened my eyes and gazed above _me in wonder

Stephenie Meyer, Twilight: Breaking dawn p 356

The first thing I noticed was the lamp right above me. Its light was very bright. I could see the filaments glowing. It was so beautiful and strange at the same time. The light itself wasn't white anymore. Instead, it contained all the colors of the rainbow, even some colors I didn't know existed. They all whirled into each other and traveled through the air, which I saw wasn't so clean and crisp. No, the air was filled with all kinds of particles. There were brownish dust particles floating around, seemly in chaos. I looked more closely and saw they didn't collide; they stayed at the same distance from each other when the air was still. Though they were small, they influenced the light beams as they cast small shadows around them. Also, the side that was turned away from the lamp was more dark as it was shadowed. Next to the dust, there were other things floating around. It looked like little microscopic animals. Bacteria? Mites? It was fascinating. My eyes followed them until they reached the ceiling. The wooden ceiling contained so many details. Wow. I could see its structures, the grains, the splinters, the color variations. Was wood always this interesting?

It was so beautiful. I opened my mouth in amazement, and a whole new set of things registered. I could actually taste the air! I tasted the woody smell of the breeze that came from somewhere. Along with the taste came my sense of smell. Different smells assaulted me. The earthy muskiness of the wooden ceiling and the freshness of the little breeze told me I was in a forested area. Wait, little breeze? Where did that come from? I was inside so there must be a window that was opened. Before I could check, a bunch of different smells invaded my nose. There were a lot of new things. My nose wrinkled, and my nostrils flared. Something was shouting in my mind to get up and defend myself. But a more subdued part of my mind reconsidered that I should analyze it first. What was it? Was it dangerous? I inhaled carefully, and the different smells registered more separately. I could distinguish each on its own. There were hints of honey, lilac and sunshine, cinnamon, hyacinth, pear, seawater, rising bread, pine, vanilla, leather, apple, moss, lavender and chocolate,but it seemed like all of them were concentrated in separate areas. They belonged to different things. What was in this room with me? How many were there? If I guessed correctly, there were six other beings in my close proximity. Six of them and only one of me…

Suddenly, the instinctual mindset took over. All my muscles just agreed, and in an instant, I flipped off the surface I was lying on. I was crouched in the corner. My mind screamed at me that it was a stupid move. Now I was trapped. The threat would see there was no way out. At least my back was safe; they wouldn't catch me off guard or sneak up from behind. Instinctively, I scanned the walls for that open window. If I got there, I was free. During my scan, my eyes encountered the threat for the first time. One of them stood closer to me. I hissed and curled my hands further.

My guess was correct, as there stood six other people in the room, two females and four males. The females were pressed against the wall while two males stood protectively in front of them. The third male was blocking the entryway of the room and the fourth male stood between the others and what I now saw was an overthrown bed. He was whispering things, but I didn't hear them. The other five were watching me closely and guarded. One of the males, a tall muscular but lean honey blond-haired one looked angry. It immediately made me more hostile. A snarl rolled off my lips. He looked like he would attack first. I hissed at him. He became my sole focus for a moment. When I surveyed him more closely, I saw bite marks on his face, neck, and hands. My mind screamed danger! He was dangerous! The need to find that window almost overrode my urge to keep him in my eyesight. My body wouldn't allow myself to lose sight of him. The male stared right back, his eyes pitch black. The snarling sound grew until it was a warning growl. I sized him up. If I was fast enough, I could take him by surprise. I tried to keep as still as possible but my muscles strained to leap at him.

The voice of the male standing closest to me distracted me enough to realize there were others present. I had to take that in consideration. They were his friends. If I charged, they would all help him. I couldn't win. I growled in frustration. It was impossible. They had me trapped, and they knew it. My inner beast was raging and going ballistic. But if I couldn't win when I fought them, there was one option: flee. My eyes swiftly looked between the window and the doorway. The doorway was blocked by the most muscular male. Going through him would almost be impossible. That left the window. It was on the other side of the room. Furthest from me but also furthest from the others. My eyes snapped back to the people. They stood in the same position still. The honey blond one was still staring with his black eyes. My body uncurled like a spring and I leaped towards the window. Only to be stopped by the man closest to me. I growled and threw him off. I turned my back to the window. All four males changed positions. I crouched down. They wanted to stop me. I hissed again. Why wouldn't they let me leave? I just wanted to go. If they allowed me, I wouldn't do anything to them. What did they want from me? I got more and more agitated. The male I had thrown off me stood up and watched me very warily. I hissed at him. The honey blond one and the muscular one looked ready to grab me. The last male, the blond one looked concerned but also a little more laid back. As if he didn't want me to see him as dangerous.

I surveyed the situation before me and instantly saw that the entryway to the room – the doorway – was vacated. As I wanted to make my way there, a pixie like female sprung to block that path. I snarled at her. Were the females going to fight, too? The pixie was small; I could overthrow her easily. Before I even made an indication of what I wanted to do, the honey blond one took his place in front of the pixie. He snarled at me with pitch black eyes. He looked even more furious than before. I coiled back. I felt trapped and a part in my head wanted to surrender and hope for the best. My instinct, however, wasn't defeated yet. I crouched down. If they didn't want to let me leave then I would fight my way out. I realized that I wouldn't get out unharmed. That realization caused a new wave of frustration and agitation.

A voice tried to get my attention. A small part of my mind decided to pay some attention to it while keeping an eye on the situation.

"Bella?"

Now that I paid attention to it, it registered that the sound was quite beautiful. The voice albeit smooth held a note of edginess and concern. It put my on edge. I redirected my gaze at the male who had spoken, but I kept watch on the five other people in the room. It was the male I had thrown off. Why was he talking to me? Was it some kind of trick to distract me? My eyes snapped to the honey blond male. He was still in the same place, protectively in front of the pixie. I turned back to the one who spoke. Still feeling very agitated. I wanted to leave!

"Bella? Do you remember who you are? Do know still know us?"

I gazed more intently at him. Bella he called me. Was that my name? Why didn't I remember? Were they playing tricks with me? I let out a frustrated hiss.

"Try to calm down. It will help you think clearer," My eyes snapped the blond male who had spoken. I was thinking clearly! Was he suggesting that I drop my guard? No way that's going to happen. I wasn't that stupid. A hiss escaped at that thought.

"I'm not telling you to get out of your crouch. Just try to remember. Look in your mind and see if you find something familiar." The blond one suggested. I let the name 'Bella' bounce in my head: Bella, Bella, Bella… Isabella… Isabella… Swan… Yes, that was my name. They knew my name. How? How did they know that? I eyed them warily.

"Do you remember your name?" he asked again. I hesitantly nodded. "Okay, that's good. Try to search again. Anything?"

I kept my eyes on the people but at the same time, I tried to remember something… Anything. Everyone stood at the exact same spot, which appeased me a little.

It wasn't until now that I realized that I could do more than one thing at the time in my mind. I could survey the room and still search my thoughts with equal clearness. It was a difficult thing to comprehend. My body tensed at that realization. It was too much to think about. I had to focus on getting away first. It is a dangerous thing to get lost in your thoughts when you're in unknown territory and surrounded by strangers. I focused back on the question the man asked. Did I remember something?

I looked at them more closely. Their hair, their appearances, their golden colored eyes, their pale skin… I tried to recall similar things in my memories to compare them with. Why are my memories fuzzy? It's like I was looking at murky film fragments and photos. It scared me. Had they done something to me? Where are my memories? It was like they were slipping from my mind the more I tried to see them. I panicked but couldn't show them my fear. Showing fear is a weakness. They wouldn't hesitate to attack me. Instead, I snarled to warn them off.

A movement in the room got my full attention back to the room. They had moved. The males had pulled back a few steps. What got my attention most was the honey blond one. The pixie had her hand resting on his arm, like she was calming him. He looked a little less angry. His eyes were still black but it was like he was observing me more in interest instead of anger. I didn't understand. A foreign feeling washed over me. It was very subtle but there nonetheless. It was like a light blanket of calmness tried to wrap itself around me. I tried to fight it. I didn't like this strange thing. It wanted to control my body's actions, to slow me down. What was happening? It put me on edge.

Somehow, through the agitation and edginess, I found similar images in my mind of the people in the room. They looked similar but at the same time also different. The people standing before me were more beautiful, more detailed than those of my memories. But everything now looked more enhanced so maybe it was the same with people? Was it something they had done to screw with my mind? I fidgeted a little in unease. I kept my eyes on them but tried to delve a little deeper in those memories.

As I focused more on those images, sounds mingled with them. It was voices. Two of the voices I could link with the males who had spoken to me. The voices were enhanced but still, I guessed they were the same ones. So that meant that the other voices would belong to the people who were also present in this room. I pondered over this fact and slowly the frenzy that my mind was in started to diminish. My body was still tensed though. I would be ready to leap or defend myself when necessary.

"Bella?" I stared at the blond male. "Do you remember anything?" He asked calmly. He didn't push me and he sounded sincere. It didn't sound like he was testing me. So I nodded slightly.

Everyone in the room looked at me with expectantly. It made me nervous. What did they expect from me? What would they think I remembered? Were there things that they didn't want me to remember? That train of thoughts put me right back in the mindset of 'watch out, danger! Find a way out!' The same subtle feeling of calmness was trying – again – to relax my muscles. I narrowed my eyes. They were playing games with me. A snarl escaped. The pixie squeezed the honey blonde's arm lightly and the feeling was gone. He was doing this to me? How? My defense was back full force. He tried to make me more vulnerable. I couldn't wait and see what he would do when he succeeded. I already knew I wouldn't leave this place unharmed. But it didn't mean that I would go down willingly without even trying. The threatening male was tensed, and I guessed it was only the pixie at his side that kept him in place. It made me shiver involuntarily. The blond male called my attention back to him.

"What do you remember? Can you tell us?" Why I don't know, but I decided to give him some answers.

"I… I have seen you before. You appear in some of my memories."

He nodded. The others stood still. My voice sounded the same as theirs. It was smooth and flawless. A part of me knew that was different than my memories. Was it also more enhanced?

"Can you remember more? Who we are?"

I summoned those memories again and paid attention to details – as far as there still were details. They were so fuzzy! Names, there were names… Were those the names of who stood before me now? I looked at each person when I heard their names in my memories. It sounded familiar somehow. I obviously know… knew them before this – whatever it is – happened. Why can't I remember now? It put me on edge. I eyed the blond male warily.

"Carlisle?"

He nodded. The blond male… man… watched me carefully but there was also a sense of relief in his eyes. Why? Like a light switch turned on, the red haze lifted almost completely. It was like the beast inside of me deemed the situation safe enough – for now – to be more relaxed. I wasn't comfortable by an inch. But in a way, I felt like I knew them. I was still guarded though. I rose from my crouch, until I was almost a maximum height. The others kept still and watched me. It was like they were giving me time. Time for what? I swept my eyes over each of them.

The first one was Carlisle. I tried to recall everything I knew about him. Vague images of a hospital appeared, followed by images of me and him in a study. In some of the images, he was joined by a woman. The same woman who stood close to the wall. I zeroed in on her. Caramel colored hair, heart-shaped face. Images of her in the kitchen, images of her hugging me… She seemed like a mothering type. The name 'Esme' sounded in my head.

"Esme?" I tried.

The woman nodded and a small but kind smile appeared on her lips. To her left stood the pixie-like woman. She was half hidden behind the dangerous male. I tried not to let the male intimidate me but it was hard. My inner beast that had retreated wanted to come back. I pushed it down, for now. My attention went back to the small woman. Spiky black hair… Alice! Images of shopping and dress-up whirled around, blending together. It was difficult to keep them apart. Alice teaching me to walk in high heels, Alice hugging me… I was friends with her apparently. I shuddered at the images. My shuddering caused the male in front of her to tense more. It was all it took to release my beast again. I curled my hands, dropping in a half crouch and hissed. Alice grabbed the male's arm tighter and whispered something in his ear. Though I was hissing, I understood what she was telling him.

"Jasper, calm down. You're putting her on edge. Shhh, Calm down. She's okay. If we don't provoke her, she will remain calm."

The male hissed softly at her but relaxed his body more. The name Jasper brought new memories to the forefront. Jasper in a school canteen, Jasper and the others outside in a field, Jasper and me talking at the edge of that field. If I could sit down with him and talk to him, we would have been friends, right? Why was I feeling so on edge around him? His bite marks were a giveaway though. Maybe I didn't see them before? I surely saw them now. Suddenly another memory, albeit very fuzzy, overpowered me: Jasper looking at me with pitch black eyes, lunging at me. I growled at that memory and bared my teeth. The red haze overtook my mind again.

He reacted automatically and answered my growl with one of his own. The pixie tried to soothe him while the others looked shocked.

"Jasper, Jasper! Don't! She's just remembering. She's trying to recall everyone. She must have had an unpleasant one about you. Please don't make her angrier. She's not thinking rationally, you know that. If she was, she wouldn't fear you."

"I know she isn't thinking straight. She's a newborn. That why I am doing what I am. She isn't the sweet loving girl you know. Right now she's purely reacting on instinct. And I will not allow her to harm you or anyone else!" he said through clenched teeth. I hissed at him.

The muscular male took a step closer to him "Jasper, man, you got to calm down a little. You're putting her on edge. No offense, bro, but you aren't the most friendly-looking vampire right now."

My head swirled with this new information. The male said some things that got my attention. I had to process them, quickly. The honey blond one – Jasper – looked frustrated. My first instinct was to see who the male was. I watched him, took his muscled body and size in. He was big! He could do a lot of damage if he caught me. Tidbits of images including him popped up. He driving a huge jeep, him standing on a field with a baseball bat, him laughing at me for some reason, him getting slapped on the head and being scolded, Emmett… Emmett! With the realization of who he was, I appraised him with less fear.

"Emmett?"

He nodded and grinned slightly. It was forced because he still had the edgy stiff posture. Which brought me back to my musings. He said to Jasper that he was a vampire? I frowned slightly. The room was getting tensed again. Vampires…. Vampires… Gold-colored eyes… vegetarians… Cullens… The Cullens! They were my family. Was I one of them? Just as I asked myself that question, I already knew the answer. I raised my hands. Jasper shifted on his feet. What? I wasn't going to attack him, for now. He was really putting me on edge. I watched my hands. They were also pale, and smooth, no imperfections on my skin. As I looked up my eyes met the last occupant, the male that I had thrown off. No not male… Man. Edward. I loved him. I was married to him. Did I really throw him off me? Did I hurt him? In a flash, I stood before him assessing him and checking for wounds. He stiffened at my sudden action. The others were also shocked and Jasper immediately stepped closer. A warning snarl supposed to warn him to keep his distance ripped from my mouth. I wanted to make sure Edward was okay. He wouldn't prevent that. I wouldn't allow him. Edward's voice brought my eyes back on him.

"Bella, love, I'm okay. You didn't hurt me. I'm okay. I love you." He cupped my cheek tenderly.

"You don't feel cold anymore. I vaguely remember your skin used to be like ice… and hard. You are softer now." I squeezed his hands and inspected his skin. He winced, my eyes immediately shot up. When I saw his pained expression, I gasped. I hurt him! My hands released him as if they hit fire. How could I hurt him? I loved him and I hurt him. Edward shushed me.

"It's okay. Hey. You're stronger than me, love. It's your turn not to hold me too tightly." He stroked my cheek softly. Warmth surged through my body and I pulled him closer to me. My arms had a mind of their own as they snaked around his neck and brushed his beautiful coppery hair. I wanted to be closer to him still. It wasn't enough. My lips kissed his throat, his jaw, his cheek until, finally, our lips connected. The kiss was so overwhelming. A heat settled in my stomach and lower between my legs. I might have moaned aloud. I knew I did when I heard Edward's own moan reach my ears. I was getting engrossed in this lustful haze. I pushed myself closer to him.

A few snickers snapped me out of my haze. I turned my head towards the others. They all had a small grin on their faces. Carlisle and Esme had slightly raised eyebrows. Oh god. I became embarrassed. That was until I caught Jasper's expression. My beast was rattling again. What did he have against me? What did I do wrong? A frustrated growl left my lips, directed at him. If he had a problem with me, he had to tell me what it was!

Before he could do anything back, another thought invaded my mind. There was someone missing. Emmett shouldn't be alone. I looked at him. Where was… an image of a blond supermodel-like female crossed my mind. Rosalie. I glanced around the room. She wasn't here. She wasn't even here from the start when I opened my eyes. My eyes settled on Emmett.

"Where is Rosalie?"

Why, I didn't know but suddenly everyone was back on alert. It made me uneasy and ready to snap. Warning bells went off in my head. I asked again, through clenched teeth. I heard more than one intake of breath. But it wasn't from anyone in the room. It came from downstairs. How many people were in the house? Wasn't Rosalie the last one of the family? My uncertainty made me fidget and put my guard back up. The tense atmosphere in the room wasn't helping.

"Rosalie is downstairs," Emmett answered carefully. He was hiding something. I inhaled deeply, a move that caused some people to take a step closer to me, as if they wanted to keep me from going outside this room. This made me feel like a trapped animal. The smell and taste of new things registered in my mind. Rosalie's beautiful scent was easily recognized. Then the most awful smelling stench assaulted my nose. My nostrils flared. God, it stank! I hissed at the penetrating scent.

The scent was accompanied by a thumping sound. A heartbeat? What creature could smell so disgusting? I scrunched my nose.

"What is that horrible smell?" My question got different reactions. Some were chuckling, someone scoffed and others were watching my intently. I paid more attention to the ones that watched me intently. They made me most nervous, Edward and Jasper. What? What did I say? It was so confusing and really starting to piss me off. Stop treating me like I'm going to attack you or planning on how to take me down. I was so close to giving in to Jasper provocations. The only thing keeping me back was my fear that he was stronger than me.

"That would be Jacob, love." He eyed me as I processed that bit of information. Jacob? Jacob was here, downstairs. I tried to remember him. Memories of him assaulted me. But I also saw images of him and Rosalie arguing and bickering.

"You're leaving him alone with Rosalie?" Then a new memory, which showed Jacob as a huge brown colored wolf, popped up. A snarl ripped itself from my lips.

"Bella? You remember him right?"

"Yes, I do… Is it his wolf thing that makes him smell so bad?"

"You hear that, Jacob? Even Bella says you stink!" Emmett said with a chuckle. A scoff reached my ears from downstairs. So Jake was still here. Apparently, he was accepted by the Cullens. The wheels turned in my head. I tried to understand why. My silence was greeted with concern and anticipation. I looked at them. Their watchful eyes caused me to become angry again. What was going on? A hiss unconsciously left me as a sign of my frustration. Jasper tensed. My body tensed.

"Why is Jacob still here?" I asked stiffly. If they would just spit it out already. Their hesitation was endangering my tight hold on my beast.

"Bella…" But my attention was directed elsewhere when the sound of a second heartbeat registered in my head. My head snapped towards the door. It was beating faster than Jacob's, fluttering like a hummingbird. Everyone sucked in a breath. Emmett went back to his earlier position in the doorway while Edward reached for my hand. Jasper looked ready to stop me. The other three tried to stand still, looking at me warily but with understanding? I looked around confused and alarmed. Then I got angry. My beast was ready to break through. My muscles tensed further. I would protect myself. It didn't matter who they were.

"Who else is here, besides Jacob?" I looked at everyone, waiting for an answer. Edward held my hand and looked into my eyes. It was like he was searching for something. I didn't know what he was looking for. He squeezed my hand.

"Don't you remember her? She is beautiful, love," he said softly and with so much love in his voice.

I tilted my head a little, staring intently at his face. His eyes held so much warmth in that moment. Without warning new memories played before my eyes. They overwhelmed me and I gasped. It was very unclear and hazy. But those beautiful big brown eyes stood out.

"Renesmee!" I exclaimed. Renesmee, my beautiful daughter. She was downstairs? Why wasn't she with me? I looked towards the door again. I wanted to be with her, hold her, love her… Edward and Jasper immediately placed their hand on my shoulder. It only fueled my anger. Why were they restricting me? She was MY daughter. They wanted to keep me away from her.

"Bella? Bella, look at me." My eyes snapped to the honey blond-haired one. I was angry with him. How dare he… I was so done with him. My lips curled up.

"Don't keep me away from her. I have the right to see her," I said forcefully. Jasper ignored my command and looked impassively at me.

"Does your throat hurt?" The question was so out of the blue that it caught me off guard. I didn't understand why he would ask that until…

Suddenly, a strong burning sensation overtook my senses. I grabbed my throat, trying to scratch at the skin, hoping to sooth the burning feeling. Jasper gave me a penetrating look. I whimpered. It hurt. My mind tried to wrap itself around the pain, tried to understand what it meant.

"It burns. Please, please, it hurts." I looked pleadingly to Edward, begging him with my eyes.

"You're thirsty. You need to hunt. It will lessen then." Edward grabbed my hands away from my throat so I wouldn't damage my own skin. Right now, I wish I could scratch right through it in hopes that the burning would stop.

I nodded pitifully. Anything to stop this intense pain. "When you're fed, we'll see if you're able to handle being around Renesmee." My eyes widened.

A growl sounded from downstairs, triggering one of my own in response. Who does Jacob think he is? If he plans to stand between me and my daughter, he has another thing coming for him! Something brushing my fingers caught my attention again.

"Renesmee is half human. She has blood flowing through her veins. We have to be sure you are fed. Come, love, let's go hunt." Did he just assume that I was capable of hurting my own child? But if hunting soothed my sore throat, maybe I would be more at ease.

He led me to the half-open window. He pushed it open completely before looking back at me. The fresh air became stronger, bringing the wonderful smells of the forest with it. I inhaled. Bad idea because it only caused the burning to increase. I whimpered again. Edward pulled me closer to the opened window. Without waiting, he jumped out and landed softly on the ground. I frowned.

"It's okay, Bella. It comes natural for you. Just step outside and you will automatically find your footing."

I whirled around at Alice's voice. She nodded reassuringly and nodded again towards the window. I ignored my better judgment and reservations and just jumped. It was such a strange experience. It was like I stepped in slow motion. I could judge the distance between my feet and the ground. My body automatically adjusted so my feet landed softly on the grass. My bare feet, huh? I wasn't wearing shoes or socks. The grass tickled my toes. It was funny. I looked up to find Edward smiling fondly at me. Turning my head I saw the others looking from the window,

My attention was diverted when the burning sensation overwhelmed me again. Edward sensed it and grabbed my hands.

"It okay, love. It will become better once you had your first meal. Come on. I'll guide you."

He started walking towards the trees, tugging me along.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **An early update since I had quite some inspiration the past week

I just want to point out that everything is from Bella's pov. So everything other people do/say may seem rude but it is how she experiences it (especially Jasper's behavior as he is pretty rude). His behavior will be explained later on when Bella is given the reason for why he acts like that.

**Huge thank you to my prereaders Dooba and Simaril, who also beta'd this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

I followed him, hoping that the woods contained the solution to my burning throat. The more I thought about it, the more unbearable it became. A small whimper passed my lips. Edward looked back at me, squeezing my hand in silent support.

Once we entered the forest, my attention was drawn to my environment. The burning sensation was suddenly pushed back to the back of my mind. A whole new world just opened for me. I stared in amazement.

The forest was enchanted, like it came straight from a fairy tale. I gazed around me while walking further away from the mansion. Edward walked beside me. He held my hand and let me explore. I took in all the details. Details that gave the forest so much beauty.

When fuzzy memories of the woods popped up in my head I couldn't stop comparing them to each other. I knew my memories were very murky, but still, I don't think the woods looked as clear as with my new vampire eyesight. I stopped walking to just take in everything. Edward stopped right beside me and stared at me with a fond smile on his face. The corners of my lips turned upwards.

As my eyes swept my surroundings, I saw literally every detail. I even saw the seeds of some plants being carried by the wind. The veins of the tree leaves and the lower vegetation gave the foliage more complexity. It was chaotic but added to the overall beauty of the greenery of the woods. Ants were crawling on the floor and over fallen twigs. They looked like a big chaotic mess. I tried following one ant. It was fascinating to see it joining the mass of the colony. The colony was busy and alive and fickle, but I could still see that one little ant making his way in the big flow. With my enhanced vision I could make out different colorations of fallen leaves. The darker they were, the longer they'd lain on the floor. They were in a farther state of declining. If you looked and observed nature closely, you could learn and discover so much!

"It's beautiful, isn't it? It calms me," Edward whispered.

"It's so wonderful here… and peaceful. There is a lot of movement and life, yet it's in harmony and serene. I love it here," I whispered back, so as to not disturb the serenity.

"Do you want to go a little faster? You can still see everything as clear as you can now. The speed is thrilling."

I looked at him and nodded. We started moving again and gradually Edward went faster and faster.

We were running now. I felt the wind whipping my face from the speed. Some hair locks swept in my face so I tried to bat them away with my hand. It was amazing that I could do that while running without losing my footing or colliding with an obstacle.

Now I focused on the passing environment. Although I was going pretty fast, I could still see everything is great detail: the roughness of tree trunks, the bugs flying and crawling around, the leaves moving on the little breeze. I heard the noise of the leaves as they moved in the wind, the buzzing of the bugs. I smiled a little when I saw mosquitoes, they couldn't bother me anymore.

"What are you smiling about?"

I looked at Edward. "Mosquitoes. They can't bother me anymore," I said with a smile. He smiled back, amused.

"That they can't anymore, no." He chuckled. We kept running for a short while until he squeezed my hand and signaled to stop. I did and looked at him questioningly.

"Are you ready to hunt? See if you can find some animal?" With that question, the burning sensation roared back in the forefront of my mind. Till now it wasn't as overwhelming because I was too enthralled by the beauty around me. I whimpered again. It had gotten worse. He pulled me in his arms, but I didn't want that. I wanted something to quench my thirst.

"I know, love. I know… Let's go find you something to drink, okay? I promise it will be better once you've hunted," he said while rubbing soothingly on my back. At my consistent pulling away from his embrace, he pulled back and his facial expression turned more serious.

"Close your eyes… trust me," he added when I gave him a questioning look. I hesitantly closed my eyes and waited on more instructions.

"Keep your eyes closed. Don't breathe. Just listen. What do you hear?"

Holding my breath wasn't really a problem, it was more annoying than bothering. I listened intently. Another strange thing I had to get used to now that I was a vampire was the different sounds of the forest life invading my head. It was quite overwhelming.

"So much. I hear everything…" I tried to express myself.

"That's understandable. Stay calm and try to separate those sounds. Look for anything rhythmic, like thumping." I followed Edward's advice and after a second I heard it: a thumping sound that beat with vast interludes. It was a soothing noise. Until I realized it was an animal. Instantly my nostrils flared. I wanted to inhale it, locate it, and find it. My muscles tensed, ready for the chase.

"Bella, stay with me. What do you hear?"

"A heartbeat, an animal, to the left of us," I struggled to say calmly. He squeezed my hands to anchor me.

"Good. Okay, now, breathe in… slowly. I don't want you to be overwhelmed."

I breathed in with shallow breaths. The different tastes of the wood registered: the freshness, the typical woody smell of a forest,… and an alluring taste of something promising. My head turned in the direction of it.

"I smell the animal, I think."

Edward nodded at my guess.

"It's a deer, not too far from us. Come on, we'll go closer. Stop breathing for a while. It will help you stay focused."

I nodded, eager to get closer to the promise of 'food'. It would soothe my burning throat. We walked towards the source of the thumping heartbeat. We were very still and used the foliage as our cover to sneak up on the animal. We came to a part in the forest that was less dense, a clearing. I saw the deer. It had its head down; it was grazing. Perfect. If I could approach it without it detecting me, I could get pretty close.

I lowered myself. My eyes were locked on the deer as I crept closer, carefully placing my feet to make sure I was absolutely silent. There was no wind in the clearing to betray my presence. All my senses were fixed upon the grazing animal. A part of me wondered if I made a sound and it sprung away, would I be fast enough to chase it? The burning sensation, however, wanted to be quenched quickly. In order for that to happen, I had to catch it without delay. I flexed my fingers and raised my chin slightly. Just as I was about to leap from the bushes – my hiding place – a rich and delicious scent invaded my nose.

I inhaled it greedily. Mmmmmm, so delicious. It smelled much better than the deer in front of me. I didn't have to think; within a flash, I changed direction and ran towards the smell that promised so much. I heard something behind me, a voice frantically yelling, but I was already lost. Lost to the sensation, the thrill… Nothing would deter me from my goal, finding that smell. The small part of my rational thought that I still had, was gone. I surrendered to my instincts. My inner beast took over.

I ran as fast as I could, inhaling to make sure I was on the right track. I got closer and a thumping sound accompanied the scent. The foliage thinned out, and I saw the sky above me. I looked in the direction of my fixation and saw something moving. It was climbing upwards on the side of a cliff that rose in the middle of the woods. I inhaled. It hadn't spotted me. I went for it.

I almost reached the bottom of the cliff when something crashed into me. I tumbled to the ground. Snarling and hissing, I sprung up. I turned around and crouched. A bronze- haired male stood in front of me. He stood in a half-crouch eyeing me. He was watching my every move, trying to anticipate my next move. I snarled at him. He interrupted my hunt.

My eyes snapped towards the crawling thing. He had stopped and watched around. He had heard us. Damn my attacker! As I looked towards him, I heard footsteps. People were coming towards us. It was all it took. I leaped and went for my attacker's throat. My hands got hold of him. I locked my fingers around his shoulders. My teeth snapped dangerously close to his face.

His arms came up and pushed me off. I stumbled back and landed on my feet. Ready to go at him again I jumped up and aimed for his chest. He grabbed my arms and spun me around. He had me locked with his arms around my chest. I struggled and growled. My teeth sunk into his arm closest to my mouth. He roared. I held on, keeping my mouth latched to his arm.

Then I felt someone grabbing my arm, pulling at it. I hissed around the obstacle between my teeth.

I finally saw that the approaching footsteps had arrived. Two males and a female were present. The female stood to the side. She was looking at something. I followed her line of sight. The thing – my meal - that was previously climbing had stopped completely, he looked very uneasy. My lapse of focus gave my first attacker the opportunity to unlatch my mouth from his arm. The second male grabbed me again and spun me around. I followed his movement and wanted to attack him. He, however, saw through me and threw me away, right into a tree. It cracked.

I got to my feet and went for a swift attack. We collided. It sounded like two boulders crashing together. I snarled. His black eyes narrowed. I leaped back; out of his reach. We eyed each other. I tried again, this time diving for his legs at the last moment.

The third male wanted in on the action as he intercepted me. He was obviously friends with the others. I threw my head back, hitting him in the chest. I bucked and staggered. It gave me a chance to turn around and go at him. Only… I was intercepted again. Two strong arms wrapped around my torso. My arms were trapped against my sides. He pulled me away from the third male. I bucked and threw my head back. I snarled, gritted my teeth and hissed. I tried locking my feet around my opponent's legs. It didn't work.

A hiss right next to my ear stopped my movements. I felt teeth lightly press against the side of my neck. I halted.

"Calm down!" a voice commanded. I hissed. "Stop it, now," the voice commanded again. The teeth pressed a little harder while the arms squeezed firmer. I couldn't move. The thumping sound that was lost to me during the attack invaded my ears. My eyes sought out the source. My meal was obviously scared and almost lost his footing. The female ran towards it. She was going to steal my meal! I immediately restarted my struggle to get free. The teeth pressing down on my neck however reminded me of my dangerous position.

"Bella, calm down, please. It's okay. Calm down."

I turned my head slightly towards the one who had spoken. It was the male that I bit. The third male stood beside him, helping him, supporting him. He cradled his injured arm against his torso. A hiss next to my ear brought me back to the one holding me.

"See what you've done? You hurt him. You bit your own husband."

"Jasper, don't…" Those two words combined with what Jasper said were all it took to make my head clear again. The red haze disappeared almost completely. My vision was free to take in everything around me. I took in the man standing before me: his bronze colored hair, his black eyes, his face… Edward! His shirt was ripped and stained with mud and other debris from the forest floor. He looked like he had fought. And he had. I had attacked him. Emmett looked less harmed with only some tears in his sleeves. The arms restricting me were still tight. I wiggled; I wanted to go to Edward. The arms around me tightened, but the pressure of Jasper's teeth was gone. His head was still next to my ear.

"Jasper, please… I'm okay. Let me go to Edward, please," I begged the man holding me. He didn't release me.

"No, you're not stable enough. I'm not risking a repeat of what happened." At his statement, I looked towards the cliff. The thing – my meal… a human? – wasn't there anymore, neither was Alice. I whimpered as realization hit me. I chased a human. I nearly had him. I would have killed and drained him without second thoughts. I knew for sure that he heard our fight. Did he see anything? It was then that my surroundings came into focus.

It was like a battlefield where bombs went off. Trees were knocked over, cracked in two. There were craters in the ground. Some places looked like animals had dug; claw marks and all. Dust was still settling down around us. I caused all this? The human must have seen something. How did you explain the sight to a human? No natural animal could create such a scene.

My thoughts were going haywire. I was still being restrained, Edward was hurt – because of me – and the burning pain in my throat flared up again. I squirmed in unease. Jasper must have picked up my thirst.

"She hasn't fed yet. Emmett, go grab some animal for her."

"With all the noise here, no animal will have stuck around this forest," Emmett said.

Jasper clenched his teeth in annoyance. "I don't care Emmett! Go look till you find one, now! And bring it back here; there is no way Bella will hunt by herself now." At his forceful tone, Emmett ran off. Jasper released his hold on me and I dropped to the floor. He stood over me watching with cold eyes. I made myself as small as possible.

It was all so much to grasp right now. I felt awful for what happened and what I almost did, but another part of me was angry that they denied me my meal. My throat burned. It nearly drove me insane. My hands reached up to scratch at the burn. A hiss from the man hovering over me stopped me. A second pair of footsteps drew my attention back to Edward. He looked apprehensively at me and then to Jasper. He read his thoughts no doubt. I wanted Edward to help me, comfort me, anything. He came closer to me. He looked conflicted about what to do.

"Edward, I'm sorry. Please, help me. It hurts."

He looked pained at my plea. "I know, love. Hang on. Emmett is going to come back soon. You will feel better after you drink."

I stayed on the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs so they wouldn't reach to my throat again. We sat in a tense silence for a while. My ears picked up noises. Someone was approaching. A frantic heartbeat came closer. I jerked my head towards the direction of the sound. Jasper took hold of my arms. Emmett came in the freshly made field with a great buck in his arms.

The animal was frightened beyond belief. It was in shock from fear. All my senses zoomed in on the animal. The sounds of its heart were luring me to him. I smelt his blood pumping rapidly through his body. Although it didn't smell as delicious as the human earlier, it was enough to make me very eager to get hold of it. The instinctual part of my mind reared up.

"Bella, focus. I know you want to tear into it, but you have to be calm. Don't shred it to pieces."

I hissed. It was MY meal. I lunged for it. The male holding the buck quickly stepped away. I felt the warm body making contact with my arms and chest. I wrapped myself around it. Without a second thought, I put my mouth around his throat and bit down. A warm fluid flowed in my mouth. I sucked harder, wanting the fluid to come faster. It wasn't the most delicious thing out there, but it wasn't too bad. Movement around me alerted me of the people standing close by. Someone was coming closer. Instinctively I tightened my arms to prevent the approaching male from taking it. The blood wasn't flowing into my mouth anymore. But still, it was mine. I growled lowly to warn them.

"Bella, it's empty. You've drained it completely. Release it, please."

My growl resounded low in my throat.

"Emmett will be back shortly with another one," the approaching male said.

I sucked one more time to make sure it was indeed completely empty. When I came to the same conclusion, I was frustrated. It was drained but the burning wasn't all gone. I dropped the dead weight and looked at the two remaining others in the field. They both watched me.

"It still burns." I was edgy. The burning sensation was driving me crazy. I wanted to scream my frustration out. They kept watching my every move. I wanted to pace, punch something, anything to get my attention away from the pain. Best would be to just hunt but, I knew they would catch me before I even left the field. I eyed the trees though. It did have an appeal to it. It was a thrilling idea, the chase, the hunt. The honey blond one stepped closer to me. He didn't say anything but held his head up and shoulders back. He looked very intimidating, which was probably what he wanted. His eyes bore into mine, challenging me to make a move. My eyes narrowed.

Before it got any further, a heartbeat reached my ears again. This time the smell was more appealing. Nothing like the human but definitely better than the buck. I sniffed and directed my whole body to the place where the third male appeared between the trees. Something was putting up a huge fight in his arms, trying to get loose. It only spurred me on more. In a blink, I was in front of it. The one holding it immediately let go and stepped away. The animal landed on his feet and roared at me. His lips curled up, showing his teeth. I didn't stop, I just leaped on his back, wrapped my arms around it and squeezed. A few cracks and the animal went limp in my arms.

I placed my teeth at his jugular and bit down. A rich tasting fluid flowed in my mouth. I drank greedily. After a while, the fluid didn't flow and I sucked at it harder. Annoyed I pushed the animal away. I licked my lips to get the last remaining drops of the delicious blood. The burning pain in my throat was soothed. Rationality came to back.

The last animal tasted better than the other without a doubt. I looked at the dead animal and noticed it was a mountain lion. I sniffed it one last time to make sure it was empty. A hiss escaped my lips automatically when I sensed someone coming closer.

"How are you feeling?" a voice asked carefully. I turned towards it and saw Edward standing a few feet away.

"My throat feels much better now."

He nodded and looked at the animal before back to me.

"The mountain lion will feed you more as it is a carnivore. They taste better than herbivores, like the buck you had before. Are you still thirsty?"

I processed the news and shook my head. The burning sensation was still present, but it wasn't that apparent anymore.

"As you are still new to this life, you'll be thirstier than us. You'll have to feed again quicker. It's normal, Bella, don't worry."

Finally, I heard the love in his voice come back. It made me feel a little less edgy and upset.

"We have to get back home so Bella can clean herself up. We will have to find something to explain this sight." Jasper's impassive voice put me off. It was like he didn't want anything to do with me. What did I do to make him act like this towards me?

I looked down at myself and saw that I was indeed in need of cleaning. Blood and fur stained my whole body and dress. I was wearing a dress? It was ruined now; tears from the animals' fight and the fight to get to my meal littered the dress. Edward grabbed my hand in his and squeezed it gently. It calmed me. I saw Emmett burying the remains of my meals before he joined us. We walked back towards the house.

During the trip, I replayed everything that happened till now. It seemed like it had been days since I opened my eyes. In reality, it maybe took half a day or something. It was so strange to grasp. Time had a whole different meaning. It was mindboggling. How did a vampire spend his time? Everything you did happened so fast, you didn't sleep, didn't get tired… I tried wrapping my mind around it. A squeeze of Edward's hand brought me back to the present. I looked up and saw that we were back at the mansion. Huh, I was so lost in thoughts that I hadn't realized it.

We approached the back door when Alice skipped through it and flung herself at Jasper. He gave her a swift but intense kiss before pushing her back slightly. The suddenness of her appearance caught me off guard. I tensed, making the men around me on edge.

"Don't worry, Jas. Come on, Bella, let's get you cleaned up." Her voice was calm and soothing. I looked at Edward before following her in the house. She led me straight to the master bathroom. I didn't even have the time to take in the inside of the house. Alice closed the door behind us and told me to wash away the filth on myself. I stripped myself down and tossed the remaining parts of the dress on the floor. Alice had turned on the shower already so I hopped in and let the warm water calm me.

Feeling the water flowing over my body was a freeing experience. I stared amazed as the water drops landed on my skin and trailed down. It was soothing, like I was getting a massage. My muscles relaxed automatically. Although my skin wasn't cold, the temperature of the water was nice. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall. I looked up towards the showerhead. The water hit my face full force but I didn't shut my eyes. When I looked down, I saw dirty water run in the drain on the floor. It was soiled with all the debris from my hunt in the forest. I stayed in the shower until the water that ran to the drain was clean. The only thing that bothered me slightly was the noise of the water. It was a little loud for my sensitive ears.

When I was sure everything was washed off, I stepped out of the shower. Alice wrapped a fluffy towel around my body. She didn't say anything, letting me process everything on my own. She towel-dried my hair and then carefully brushed it. When I had dried myself, she handed me some clothes. They were classy yet comfortable. Once I was fully dressed, she led me to the closet-length mirror in the dressing room. It was the first time I actually saw myself.

The woman looking back at me was beautiful: pale skin without blemishes, dark brown hair that stopped below my elbows. It had some red highlights in it. They were subtle, but they were there nonetheless. My features were well defined: my cheekbones, my jawline, my whole body really. Then my eyes encountered their self in the mirror. I stepped back immediately.

Two blood red orbs stared back at me. I brought my fingers close to my eyes and followed the shape of my lower eyelid. The red stood out, especially against the pale skin surrounding it. I was shocked and taken aback. Involuntarily, a hiss escaped aimed at the eyes in the mirror. My muscles twitched. Footsteps rushed up the stairs. The approaching people would crowd the dressing room. That thought made me fidgety. More than one person joined me and Alice in the room. Jasper put an arm protectively around his wife while Edward embraced me, guiding my eyes away from the mirror, trying to calm me down.

"Shhh, love. The eyes will turn a lovely shade of gold, like ours in a few months. It takes time. I know it must be scary to see them." He drew soothing circles on my back. His arms gave me a sense of safety and reassured me.

It was then that I noticed that Edward and Jasper had changed. They wore clean clothes. All the evidence of their presence during my hunt was gone. I took a step back and looked at Edward, gasping when I remembered what I had done to him. I grabbed his arm and pushed up his sleeve. A fresh bite mark was visible on his forearm. It pained me to know that I did that. Very hesitantly, I ran my fingertip over it. He shivered a little. My eyes met his.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. How could I do that to you?" I was working myself into a frenzy. Edward hugged me again, drawing me back against his chest.

"It's already healing. It just stings a bit right now. Nothing I can't handle. Please don't feel bad about yourself. I know it was a risk when I grabbed you," Edward calmly stated.

I inhaled a few times and stared back in the mirror. First, I took in my eyes again. Then my eyes wandered towards the others their reflection. Alice and Edward looked somewhat relieved. Jasper however watched me impassively.

"Are you ready to come downstairs? We have to talk."

Jasper's impassive tone didn't give me much reassurance. I was ready to lose my composure. Edward came in front of me, blocking my view of the other two. He looked into my eyes and nodded with a questioning look. I inhaled again and nodded back.

Alice and Jasper walked down the stairs first. While going down, I sensed some things were off. The horrible stench was almost gone. It still lingered in the house but the source was gone. So was the hummingbird heartbeat. Jacob and Renesmee! Where were they? I got a little anxious.

When walking into the living room I saw the remaining Cullens standing in different places around the room. Esme and Carlisle stood together, Carlisle had an arm around her. Emmett and Rosalie embraced each other. Jasper and Alice joined them while I stopped at the entrance hesitantly. I didn't like this. Something was off. Rosalie looked at me briefly with sympathy. Before I could analyze her gesture, Carlisle cleared his throat. An uncomfortable silence engulfed the room. It felt like the temperature dropped a few degrees.

"Welcome back, Bella, have you fed well?" Carlisle asked me.

I nodded, unsure of what was about to happen next.

"It seems you had quite the hunting experience. It was to be expected, though."

Did I hear disappointment in his tone? Was he disappointed in me? But I acted on instinct; every rational thought just flew out the window when I smelled that human. If I wasn't so intoxicated with it, I would never give in to my instinct. I didn't mean for it to happen. I was getting worked up. A wave of calmness slowly overcame me. I snapped my eyes to Jasper, who was once again watching me intently.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." I directed my answer to Carlisle "I was just… I don't know, I smelled him and suddenly I wasn't me anymore. You know I wouldn't do this."

"I know that, Bella, but it is what you are. As a newborn, it was to be expected –"

"You mean you blame me? I should have controlled myself better?" I interrupted rudely.

"No, that is not what I'm saying. I'm saying that we have to be more careful than I anticipated." He looked at me, willing me to understand him.

Somewhere in my mind, I did understand him. I just wasn't ready to learn what it all meant. Edward squeezed my shoulder gently.

"From what Emmett told me, there is quite a bit of forest damaged. We have to find a solution as to not let humans get suspicious," Carlisle continued.

"Maybe those mutts can make up a story about a camping trip they took there," Rosalie put in. "Everyone knows how wild and messy those boys are."

Carlisle thought about it and then nodded. "That might work. I'll call them to explain it."

"Call them? Why not ask Jacob? Where is he? Where is Renesmee?" I wanted to know why they were gone alone without any of them going with them. It was like I asked the most painful thing because everyone stopped breathing for a split second. I didn't understand. My defenses rose though. Edward led me to the closest seat, made me sit and sat beside me, taking both my hands in his. I looked at everyone, seeing them all eying me carefully.

"You're scaring me, Edward. What's going on?"

"Bella… We think that maybe being around Renesmee isn't that safe right now, especially after what went down while hunting. Jacob and Renesmee are staying somewhere else. Don't worry, they are safe."

I stared at him. Different feelings washed over me: fear, confusion, anger. Jacob was with Renesmee, alone, without the Cullens, away from me. They wanted her away from me. I was her mother. What were they thinking? They couldn't do that. And who decided that Jacob was the one to stay with her? Anger won. I stood up, pulling my hands out of Edward's. I was angry.

"You have no right to keep her away from me, none of you do. She is my daughter! Since when does Jacob have anything to say in this? I may not remember it clearly, but he wasn't that well liked before. Why is his opinion so important to you?"

I stared them down. I wanted some answers, and I wanted to see my daughter. Some of the Cullens looked taken aback by my outburst. I couldn't care less. Edward looked uncomfortable as he tried to reach out to me. I stepped away.

"Bella… I understand this must be confusing- " I scoffed at Edward's statement "But there are things you don't understand. Something has… happened while you were changing."

He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. It made me suspicious.

Carlisle spoke up before I could answer. "Maybe we should just call him and ask him to come over… with Renesmee. It will be easier to explain. It is also easier to tell them about the damaged forest area."

Both our heads snapped to him. He wanted to bring Renesmee to me? I got to see her? A feeling of happiness surged through me.

"Carlisle, are you sure this is a good idea? Things might go badly…" Edward obviously wasn't too thrilled by the idea.

"It has to happen anyway, might as well get it over with. I'll go make the call." Carlisle left the living room followed by Esme. I turned my attention back to the remaining people. Alice and Rosalie had mixed expressions. They looked happy but worried at the same time. Jasper was still rather impassive towards me, staring intently at me. My rant probably gave him another excuse to be this way towards me. If I could just figure out what set him off… Emmett looked more excited, like the aspect of me meeting Jacob would be eventful. I slightly cocked my head at that thought.

Edward's expression was unclear. It chilled me a little. Why was he so against me seeing our daughter? And since when did he root for Jacob? I stepped back closer to him.

"Edward, what's happening? I don't understand. Everything about this is driving me crazy."

Carefully he put his arms around me and looked into my eyes. For a split moment, we were alone in that room.

"Hold on a little longer, love. Everything will make sense once they are here. Although you might not really like what you will hear. I know I didn't either when I first heard it. Neither did the rest of my siblings."

At this, I realized they were still in the room. I was surprised as I learned that they were all against whatever it was that happened, yet now they seem to have accepted it.

"Is it that bad?" I asked worriedly.

"Depends on who you're asking. I'm quite sure you will find it bad." Emmett chuckled, which earned him a light swat from Rosalie. Rosalie! If she accepted it? She was so against Jacob. I vaguely remembered they argued a lot when I was still pregnant. She came over to us and put a hand on my arm.

"Trust me; I'm not too happy about it either, but there is nothing we can do about it. However, if you want to 'express' your opinion about it towards Jacob, I won't stop you."

She gave me a knowing nod. If I read correctly between the lines, she just told me that I would become angry at Jacob. She basically gave me the 'go ahead' to rough him up. Everyone grinned at her statement. We were interrupted by Carlisle and Esme's return in the room.

"Jacob is on his way – with Renesmee. Sam will also come concerning the forest clean-up."

I grew excited. I would finally see Renesmee. I smiled at the thought of finally holding her in my arms, to cuddle her.

"If they arrive, Bella, could you wait by us before going to Renesmee? I want to inform Sam first. The sooner the cover-up is in place, the safer for us."

I nodded my assent to Carlisle. Heartbeats came into my range of hearing, followed by the disgusting scents. I wrinkled my nose automatically. Everyone made their way to the door and took place on the porch. In between the disgusting scents, there was another one, which smelled so nice and fresh. I inhaled deeply. The disgusting ones made me almost gag, but the sweet one filled me up.

I directed my gaze to the approaching group. It consisted out three people, two tall men and one little girl – a baby – who was carried by one of them. I was confused because I thought there would be more than those two… The scent was too powerful to be from just them.

I immediately scanned the trees around the driveway. And surely, in the shadows of the trees, I saw eyes and silhouettes of huge animals. So the pack, or at least part of the pack, had come too. My attention went back to the group before us.

"Jacob, Sam, thank you for coming." The men nodded at Carlisle's welcome. "Sam, there has been a bit of a struggle during Bella's first hunt. Parts of the forest are very damaged by it. Can you see if you can make it look like something you did with the other men from La Push while camping?"

"We will take a look at it. It can't be too difficult to come up with something… Nice to see you again Bella," he addressed first Carlisle and then me. His expression became more serious, more than it already was.

"I suggest you be more careful that accidents like this don't happen again. We will not tolerate any of you hurting a human. Things might have changed; but that still stands."

Carlisle nodded and with that, Sam took off towards the trees. Most of the wolves followed him, away from the mansion. Two wolves still stood hiding in their place. With Sam's warning the events of my hunt reared up. What happened to the human on the cliff? Did Alice get him in time? Did he see us? My mind was starting to go haywire. I started losing control.

Edward put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my hair.

"It's okay, Alice rushed him to the hospital. He was about to fall down. He hasn't seen anything. He was just spooked by the noise. He's probably a bit shaken but otherwise, no harm done." At his reassuring answer, I relaxed a little.

"What did he mean with 'things might have changed'?" I caught that part, yes. The atmosphere became loaded. I pulled back from Edward's embrace and lifted my head. Every one of the Cullens was either watching me or something behind me, Jacob. Renesmee! I whirled around and my eyes landed on the man who held my child.

Jacob looked tense. I took a step towards the steps leading down the porch. He tensed and became uncomfortable. I narrowed my eyes at him. Rosalie walked by me straight to Jacob.

"Give her to me. It will be safer." Jacob was very reluctant in handing Renesmee to Rosalie. Rosalie stepped back, away from Jacob, but didn't come to me. I didn't understand. I went towards her, but Jacob's behavior stopped me. I got annoyed with him.

"What do you want? What's the matter with you?" I tried to keep myself calm. It wasn't easy. From the corner of my eye I saw the others group together. They looked to be expecting something to happen. Some of them were quite eager to see it unfold, others weren't too happy with it though.

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_Let me know what you think of it so far. Is Bella a believable newborn?_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed/alerted/fav'ed my story:-) They are appreciated

Sorry it took so long to update, school has been demanding last month. Also the dorms on campus aren't the best place to write as there is quite a lot of distraction and lack of peace and silence.

**Huge thank you to my prereaders Dooba and Simaril, who took the time to read and beta this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

On with the story...

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Their behavior made me uncomfortable. Rosalie keeping my daughter away from me, the others grouping together, the presence of the wolves in the forest, it made me antsy. It was so much, too much to process right now, because all I wanted was to simply meet my daughter for the first time. It shouldn't be this huge deal. I proceeded till I was at the bottom of the steps. When I took a few more steps in the lawn, I stopped. I was facing the lawn, the Cullens standing behind by me on the porch.

Jacob crossed his arms again, standing tall a few meters away, ready to physically stop me. All I saw was someone who wanted to provoke me. If I had to fight him, then so be it. Nothing would stop me. I prepared myself, my instincts taking over. I observed the whole situation to come up with the best way to get past Jacob towards Renesmee. It only took me a few moments to analyze the whole situation.

The wolves… They would stick together. I couldn't simply attack the one in front of me. It wouldn't be one against one, but one against three. One wolf I could handle, maybe… but three… It was unlikely. Even I realized that.

Besides the wolves, there were others. I shifted so they were sideways of me. I could now see the wolf and the female with child on one side, the group of vampires on the other side. I shifted so my front was faced towards the trees where the two remaining wolves hid. My back was safe. For now, nobody could sneak up on me undetected.

The vampires stood together. The ones who were grinning before didn't look so eager anymore. Their expression matching the others: concern and wariness. The honey-blond one eyed me, almost looking angry. My upper lip curled up slightly. The bronzed-haired one watched the honey-blond. He became more alarmed and snapped his eyes to me. I hissed at them.

Would they side with the wolves? If that was indeed the case, then I didn't stand a chance. I felt myself begin to tremble from anger and frustration. They would stand by the wolves because one of the vampires stood behind the wolves. She walked over there while she could have walked to the others. To me that confirmed my suspicion.

A small noise coming from the child, no not child, my daughter, fueled my determination to get to her. Just as I was crouching down, preparing to leap in her direction, I saw vampires rushing towards me. I growled. I felt something strange trying to wash over me. It felt like a wave of something foreign, something that wasn't my own. I remembered the sensation from before. It only caused me to become angrier. The honey-blond male was trying to manipulate me. Maybe he was doing it… trying to do it the whole time. Until now, I didn't notice it. I looked at him.

He was tense and stoic. The female holding my daughter was cooing to her. When she lifted her eyes, she eyed me warily, but there was also sympathy. Most of all, I wanted to take my daughter and run away. She was my priority.

Three vampires had left the group and stood closer to me. The honey-blond one and the blond one stood at the bottom of the steps, while the third one, the bronze-haired one approached me. He had a mixed expression on his face. He looked determined but also angry. Somehow, I got the feeling that the anger wasn't directed at me, though. This gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe the vampires wouldn't side with the wolves…

The stinking male – the one standing between me and my child – didn't know how to behave. He seemed fidgety. His arms went from crossed over his chest to in front of him in a 'don't come any closer' gesture. Good! It gave me the advantage to strike before he made up his mind. His eyes, however, held a determination. It made me apprehensive. Maybe he wasn't as undecided as he led on.

"Bella, please don't come any closer." It sounded like his last warning.

A growl ripped from my lips. I inhaled, gagging at the terrible smell. I clenched my teeth and glared at him.

"Jacob… Just stop it. This won't end well!" The male closest to me said through gritted teeth. So he _was_ angry at the wolf.

"I'm sorry but I can't… Please try to understand," he pleaded with the male. I narrowed my eyes more. How dare he? Was he seeking allies? I tensed completely. I felt like a spring stretched to its maximum, ready to snap. The foreign waves still tried to invade my body. I was too riled up to feel it affect me. The male closest to me snarled at him.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. You know we don't control it. I didn't plan this. You got to believe me," the reason of my anger tried again. His plea caused another snarl.

His words didn't make any sense to me. But I wouldn't let his exclamation distract me. The only thing I did understand was that I still wasn't holding my daughter. He looked at me, a look that was pleading. I hissed. My patience had worn thin. I was ready to snap at any time. At my reaction, his demeanor changed. His look changed from pleading to one of warning. I shouldn't go near my daughter. I kept my eyes on him, solely on him. He was the only one of importance right now.

The only thing I saw right now was something preventing me from reuniting with my child. It wasn't a wise decision on his part. You don't separate a mother from her child. Never! I had enough. I crouched, baring my teeth. The male in front of me started shaking. Shivers ran over his body, getting faster and more extreme as time went on.

"Don't do it Bella. Don't make me," the male warned me. But it was too late already. I heard voices shout from behind and beside me. I paid very little attention to it. Before anyone could do anything, I lunged, slamming into the trembling male. The female behind him quickly got out of the way as he flew backwards from the collision. He landed near the trees.

Immediately the two other wolves jumped in front of him, snarling at me. I snarled right back. Every part of my body was tensed. I eyed them, looking for weak spots to target. The male stood back up and spoke to the wolves.

"Back down! Stay back." The animals turned their head towards him. The grayish wolf was anything but ready to back down. It bared its teeth again at me.

"Leah!" The grayish wolf – a female – lowered her ears, gave a low growl and stayed put. It didn't deter me though. I was still looking for a way to take them out. The male held his hands out.

"Bella, stop!"

I hissed at his command. He actually dared to tell me what to do. I narrowed my eyes, lowered my crouch and curled my fingers. I was rocking on the balls of my feet ready to lunge. Around us a chaos erupted. I heard vampires rushing over to us. The male's trembling got worse as he walked stealthily in my direction. I met him halfway before any of them could reach me, thrusting my hands out. He shoved back. Dirt swirled around as his feet bore in the soil.

He was able to stop his body from shoving and suddenly his trembling exploded. I heard clothes ripping. Right in front of me, where the male had been, stood a huge russet brown wolf. It was the size of a horse with impressive paws. I instinctively took a step back. Arms wrapped around my chest restraining and shielding me from the animal. The wolf stepped closer, joined by the two others. They were frightening. The grayish wolf snarled again, her teeth bared. The wolf in front gave her a small growl and she quieted down a little. I couldn't take my eyes of them. The wolf in front looked at me, taking me in. He was studying me. His big dark brown eyes were fixed on me. He intimidated me.

The other vampires had caught up with us. The bronze-haired one pulled me closer to his chest. My first reaction was to hiss at him. He looked down at me with black eyes and then turned his gaze to the wolves. He oozed anger. The blond one angled himself between the two camps. The honey-blond increased the foreign wave of calming feelings. It seemed to work somewhat on everyone

My mind settled down some. Everything became slightly clearer again.

"Enough, please. Let us settle this without a fight. No one has to get hurt. We can talk about it. Jacob, can you please phase back? We need to talk."

The huge wolf looked over at me, then back to Carlisle. He slowly nodded and walked into the forest. The other two wolves stood tensed.

I was still in Edward's arms when I remembered Renesmee. My gaze drifted to the porch behind me. The remaining Cullens stood together. They looked on edge by the whole spectacle. I spotted Rosalie standing in the doorway behind the others. Her arms were shielding Renesmee. How did she get there? She must have run there during the chaos. I got the urge to go towards her. Rosalie subtle shook her head, nodding towards the scene around me. I didn't understand why I couldn't just see Renesmee, just to make sure she was alright. Movement from my left got my attention again.

Jacob walked out of the trees, only wearing ripped shorts. I turned my head back to the scene. Edward draped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. I inhaled his scent. It calmed me.

"Jacob, thank you for phasing back. I hope we can come to some understanding. This isn't going to solve itself. However, this is neither the time nor place," Carlisle spoke softly but with a hint of authority.

Jacob's gaze drifted to Renesmee and then to me. He answered Carlisle's question but kept his eyes on me. It seemed like he was addressing me too.

"I know this isn't going to magically disappear, But I can't just sit by and do nothing."

I didn't understand. Why was he being so difficult? Why was he even hanging around anyway? I was a vampire now. What could be so important for him to go against me? Why did the Cullens even allow him to linger around and standing between me and Renesmee? Carlisle brought me out of my musings when he spoke again.

"We will discuss this later. I want you to step back, Jacob."

Jacob looked tense. He gritted his teeth. The two other wolves stood by him, both looking at me. He watched me for a second. His silence annoyed me.

"Why are you still here, Jacob? Why are you preventing me from seeing Renesmee?"

It was a question but my tone was forceful.

"I don't trust you. I can't risk her getting harmed. I won't allow it to happen. If that means keeping her away from you… "

I narrowed my eyes at him, the previous calmness vaporized. I felt my muscles tense up at his statement.

"Get out. Now! Jacob, enough!" Edward snarled.

"How dare you! Do you really think I would harm her, my own daughter? That's just absurd," I exclaimed forcefully. The thought of harming my own daughter was sickening. The fact that he used that as an excuse to stand between us was… I couldn't even come up with a word to describe how that was. I felt anger bubbling up again.

He held up his hands. Before he could speak, Edward interrupted him. He kissed the top of my head.

"Jacob, I won't allow you to accuse her of that. I tolerated you being here, but you overstayed your welcome."

At the end of his reply, his tone was less neutral. It seemed like Jacob was pushing his limits. Jacob still held his hands up.

"Are you sure she won't harm Renesmee? Who says she won't do the same as when smelled the human? I won't take that risk-"

I gritted my teeth and Edward snarled.

"That is not for you to decide. We are all here to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible, but you are not going to decide how and when it will happen," Carlisle responded.

Jacob exhaled, looked at Renesmee real quick, and then settled back on me. He had a defeated look. He seemed pained.

"Fine, but I want to stay close by."

"Fair enough. You can stay. But you won't interfere, and you will stay back. Same goes for Seth and Leah. They don't make a sound of protest. I mean it, Jacob, you are really pushing it. I can understand your reluctance, but you are making this more complicated than it already is."

Leah was anything but pleased. She let out an offended huff. Edward's gaze snapped to her. His stare becoming more hostile. He was reading her thoughts, and he didn't like them. It made me tense up again.

"If you don't like it, then leave! No one is ordering you to stay."

Leah growled at his stern voice. She looked at us, then to Jacob. He nodded slightly and then she backed up. She directed her gaze at me and let out a last warning growl, before disappearing through the trees. I eyed her till I couldn't see her anymore; but I could still hear her. She didn't go far. Carlisle's sigh brought me back to the situation at hand. He seemed tired.

"Jacob, can you please take a few steps back. For your own safety? We don't want Bella to feel threatened by your presence when she meets her daughter."

He looked warily. It wasn't easy for him it seems. His eyes shifted to me. He held my gaze for a moment. It unnerved me. I was getting impatient. I fidgeted. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, Jacob nodded. His eyes went to Renesmee one more time and then he backed up. His eyes never left us but he went to stand next to Seth.

This whole ordeal only kept me longer from meeting Renesmee. The whole thing only lasted a few minutes, but it seemed like a very long time. I ached to hold her. I wanted so badly to turn around and just go up the porch towards Rosalie, who was still holding her.

Carlisle and Edward seemed to exhale in relief. Edward let go of me and turned me around, facing him and the porch. Immediately I was overcome with different feelings. Excitement, nervousness and worry battled for dominance.

I pulled back, anxious as to why he behaved the way he did. He held me at arm's length. I searched his eyes for anything that showed me what he was feeling. Movement from the other side of us caught my attention, and I turned my head. The rest of the family had moved into different positions. Rosalie was still in the doorway between the porch and the house. Alice was standing next to her. Esme and Emmett stood protectively in front of them. Their eyes fixed on me. The anxiousness grew.

Carlisle passed us and stood by Jasper. They stood between us and the steps to the porch. Edward's fingers urged me to look at him. His eyes held different emotions. I could see love, admiration and concern. It was the concern that put me on edge. Before it could escalate, he spoke.

"Don't worry, love. We won't prevent you from seeing her, but we have to be cautious. She is half human. We just have to be careful."

I could understand his reasoning somewhat, but still… I wouldn't dream of hurting her. The thought alone made me sick. He saw my contempt and proceeded before I could object.

"She is half human, half vampire, she has traits of both. She is warm and has a heartbeat."

At his words, the burning sensation in my throat became apparent. The idea of human blood enticed me. But the idea that it was Renesmee, quenched that. She overrode my need for blood..

"Maybe she should hunt again first," Jasper stated, watching me intently. I hissed at him. It took everything to stay put and answer calmly.

"I just hunted. First the wolves and now you? Are you going to keep me away from her? I wouldn't dream of harming her!"

I held his gaze, in the meanwhile keeping track on everybody else. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

"I am not keeping you from your daughter. I am making sure that you are well fed before you attack her in your frenzy."

I snarled at his cold voice. His words riled me up. He won't stand in my way. I didn't feel the slightest urge to attack Renesmee. Edward leaned his head closer to me and whispered in a soothing voice.

"I know you want to see her. But it will be safer if you are fed. Doesn't your throat bother you? Just one hunt, we'll make it quick."

I looked into his eyes.

"I feel my throat burning, but it's not because of her. When I think of her, I don't get the urge to hunt. I just want to meet her, please!" I pleaded. He looked imploringly into my eyes. Then he nodded.

We both looked up towards the porch. My eyes searching for Rosalie first. She was speaking to my daughter. Renesmee held her small hand to Rosalie's cheek. She was absolutely silent, yet Rosalie answered her.

"That's her, yes. That's mommy."

Renesmee lowered her hand and turned her face to me again. I was mesmerized. Without conscious thought I stepped closer towards the porch till I was only a meter away from the steps leading up the porch. The Cullens stood ready. Very subtle I felt the atmosphere tense. The air was filled with anticipation and wariness. The shift in emotional climate made me uneasy. I was suddenly anxious but excited too. I crossed the distance between me and the steps to the porch and stood still, holding Renesmee's gaze.

She was so beautiful. She had a mope of brownish hair with a bronze gleam in it. It was amazing. The bronze gleam was equally spread in her hair. On some parts it was more pronounced, but that was probably because of how the light hit it. It looked so soft and curly. Her eyes had an oval shape with long fine eyelashes decorating them. She blinked her eyes and her eyelashes touched her cute cheeks. Her gaze held different emotions; she looked happy and excited, but also curious. I let my gaze drift across the rest of her face. Her nose was small but cute, like a little button. Her lips were slightly pulled up in an uncertain smile. Everything looked well proportioned.

She looked simply perfect. A slight blush tinted her cheeks. Her skin looked smooth and creamy. It wasn't as pale as the vampires' but also not as tan as Jacob's skin. From where I stood, she looked like a human.

Edward squeezed my hand. I kept looking at our daughter.

"She is so beautiful. She looks perfect. Can I hold her?" When I asked that I looked at him.

"She's perfect, our little Renesmee."

The adoration in his voice was obvious. It warmed my unbeating heart. I made the motion to assent the steps. Immediately some of the Cullens stood straighter. Jasper and Carlisle started to come closer. They blocked my view as they stood at the top of the steps. I hissed at them. My feelings of love and adoration for my daughter melted away.

"Bella, we don't want to keep you away from her. We just have to be sure. Can you listen long enough to do what we say? Just precautions…"

Carlisle looked imploringly in my eyes. My mind was battling with itself. I just wanted to see my daughter. I gazed behind Carlisle to Rosalie and Emmett. She nodded at me. I directed my eyes at Edward, pleading for his guidance. He squeezed my hand and kissed the top of my head. His loving gestures worked calming and I nodded to Carlisle to acknowledge his words. I was itching to meet and hold Renesmee. I hoped his precautions weren't too demanding.

"Very good. Okay. Can you take slow easy breaths? To get acquaintance with her scent."

I felt Edward place his hand on my shoulder. He didn't put pressure on them, but it kept me centered for now. I took a shallow breath. The different scents of everyone in my surroundings registered: the disgusting, nose-burning smells of the wolves, the many smells of the Cullens, the many scents of the forest-life. Mingled with all those things was another unique scent. I inhaled again, focusing more on the unique scent.

It was sweet and fresh, very appealing between everything else. It had to belong to Renesmee. I gazed at her, meeting her big brown eyes. I raised my chin higher in the air and took in another breath. I froze. Immediately there was movement. Edward put some pressure on my shoulders to keep me in place. In front of me I saw Jasper and Carlisle change posture. I curled my upper-lip slightly. I wasn't going to attack my own child! With my last intake of breath I smelled something else about the unique scent that belonged to Renesmee. Her scent was mingled with something different, something that made her less appealing in the 'food'-category. It was a beautiful scent. I know beautiful can't be linked to a scent, but I couldn't find another words to match. It was part of what made her unique. The beautiful, almost sickly sweet, but at the same time subtle scent combined with the sweet and fresh part, made her the most beautiful scent I had smelled this far.

"Her scent is so beautiful and rich… but also… subtle and sober… One part of her scent is very appealing, but the other part holds it in balance. The two parts combined…" I tried to put my thoughts into words. I felt the pressure on my shoulders lighten up.

"You probably smell her human nature and her vampire side as well. The vampire part is what keeps it in balance. How does that smell make you feel, love?"

"I… I love her already. I couldn't even dream of thirsting for her." I yearned to hold her.

Edward pressed another kiss on the top of my head. Carlisle's face lit up, a small smile forming on his lips.

"That's good, Bella. This will make it easier and safer. Can you come up to the top step?"

He took a step back, stepping completely from before my daughter. Jasper stayed where he was, keeping an eye on me. Hesitantly I took the first step up with Edward right behind me, his hands never leaving my shoulders. I continued to take shallow breaths to acquaintance myself more with Renesmee's scent. With Jasper standing right at the top step I stopped a step lower, very cautious of him. I didn't trust him. His eyes weren't black, but they held sternness and warning.

"Take a step back, Jasper," Edward said tersely.

Jasper's lips thinned to a straight line as he stepped slightly to the side. I remained still. Edward nudged me to take the final step to the porch. Once I stood fully on the porch, I looked expectantly at Carlisle. Alice and Esme formed some sort of line on both sides of Rosalie and Emmett. It felt like I had to walk to an altar. Carlisle nodded in their direction and I slowly took a step, eying everyone around me. They held their position, so I took another step.

A soft warning growl from behind me snapped my attention to the wolves standing at the edge of the lawn and the trees. I hissed in frustration and anger, especially as I saw that Leah – in wolf form – had joined the two men. Edward cursed. Surprisingly it was Jasper who answered them.

"Enough already. I can't deal with you mutts a top of handling everything here. Either stay there and be quiet or leave!"

A soft growl and a huff came from the trio standing there. Jacob raised his hands as if to surrender. I scoffed; again he was hindering my reunion with Renesmee! Edward spoke softly in my ear.

"Calm down, love. Don't let them take this from you. Look, our daughter is right before you. Don't let Jacob spoil your moment."

I concentrated back on the scene before me. I was almost next to Esme and Alice. I eyed them warily. Would they step in front of me? Their eyes held concern and anticipation. They smiled tentatively. I gave them a hesitant smile in return. Renesmee's squirming drew my attention to the couple standing in front of me. From the corner of my eyes I saw that every Cullen had concentrated around me, like they were preparing for something. It made me a little wary. I kept an eye on them while looking up to Emmett. He stood protectively next to his wife. His arms were next to his body, seemingly nonchalant but the small tremors told me was tensing his muscles.

He looked at me intently. I held his gaze, not wanting to miss his next move. The others in my periphery sight stood around us. After what seemed like a very long time, Emmett nodded once and brought his arm to Rosalie's' shoulder, leaning slightly towards her and Renesmee. Rosalie smiled when she looked at me. I saw Renesmee put her hand against her cheek again. Rosalie looked down at her with a loving smile.

"Mommy's here. You want to meet her?"

Renesmee nodded and turned back towards me, smiling. My heart warmed and an all-consuming love enveloped my very being. She reached her arms out for me to grab her. A soft growl momentarily distracted me. My head snapped towards the sound. Those stupid… aargh! I felt anger bubble up inside of me. I've just had about enough of them!

"Bella. Bella, calm down. Think of Renesmee. Calm down, you don't want to hurt her. Control your movements, please," Rosalie soothed me.

I looked back at her and saw her eyes narrow and her lips formed a thin line. She kept looking at me but her voice was icy when she addressed the three wolves.

"You listen to me, mutts, you had your fair share of warnings. Back off! We won't tell you again. Got it?!"

Her threat was answered by provoking snarls. She turned her head to them and showed her teeth, letting a hiss escape from between them. I felt the foreign waves wash over me and shot a look at Jasper. I saw he was doing his best to calm everyone down. It seemed to work as the wolves relaxed a little and everyone on the porch eased some of their strained posture. I felt the effects less but something else drew my attention away from the tension: a soft warm touch.

I looked at Renesmee and saw her fingers touch my fist. I didn't realize I had made fists. My hand relaxed. I turned my hand over so my palm was touching her fingers. Slowly I moved my fingers and stroked her little fingers. The feeling was so surreal. Her touch was soft and warm, her skin was smooth. Tentatively my other hand came up to touch her other hand. I stared into her eyes. She became to most important thing that registered right now. Everything around me became muted and blurred. I got lost in her touch.

"Would you like to hold her?" Rosalie asked warmly. I met her gaze. Her gaze held only positive emotions. I was a little scared, what if I hurt her without realizing? I could even hurt Edward. At my hesitation some Cullens stepped closer to me. Edward placed his hand on my shoulder.

"You okay, love? Is it overwhelming? We can try again later-"

"NO! I mean, no, I can handle it. I don't feel the need to attack her or anything. I'm just scared…"

I kept my eyes on our daughter but took in everything around me as well. It was dangerous to neglect my surroundings. It was stupid of me to get lost in her touch when so many things could harm me or her. Carlisle spook up.

"What are you scared of? You're doing wonderful."

"What if I hurt her unintentionally? I hurt Edward before. I don't want to harm her."

"Try to remember at all times that you are holding something breakable. Concentrate on what you are doing. Feel with you skin when you touch her. Your skills are heightened now. If you hurt her or cause her discomfort, you will feel it."

Carlisle's words put me more at ease. Maybe I could do this. I wanted so badly to hold my daughter. Edward squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. I observed where everyone was standing; Jasper had come a little closer. He still stood to the side slightly, but in direct line to me. He either moved himself in that position or the others moved away from between us. I realized he stood strategically: far enough to not set me off completely, but in the best place to get to me immediately when needed.

Renesmee moved her fingers and grabbed my hand in hers. I gently placed my free hand on her tiny waist under her arm. She understood what I wanted to do and released my hand. I put that hand on the other side of her waist. My eyes met Rosalie's and she nodded.

I concentrated to monitor my strength when I lifted Renesmee from her arms. She weighted nothing, it was like a feather, she was so light. I brought her to my chest, cradling her. She looked up to me and I met her gaze, all the while making sure I didn't squeeze her. She was even more beautiful from up close.

For a moment we were completely silent, just taking each other in. Then she brought her hand to my cheek. I gasped at the warm touch on my face. Before I knew what was happening, images appeared in my head. I froze and gasped again. I heard people around me move closer at once. They hovered next to me.

What was happening? I wanted to pull away, but at the same time I was fascinated by what I saw. I saw myself, but I looked different; sweaty and sick. My face was horrible with sunken eyes, sweat and blood. Next I saw images of the other Cullens, Jacob, rooms in the house. Finally I saw me again; but different. I was pale and beautiful; me as a vampire. The last image was of me approaching Renesmee on the porch moments ago. Was I seeing what she saw? How? Why?

After that image Renesmee pulled her hand away and rested it on my upper arm. I gasped again. My eyes widened. What was that? It was then I noticed multiple hands on my shoulders, arms and waist. It was unnerving. I tensed.

"Bella, please remember your holding Renesmee," Esme broke the momentary silence. Immediately I relaxed a little. I still felt quite shaken by what just happened. Rosalie gently pried Renesmee from my arms. I hissed at her.

"I'm not taking her away from you. I'm just going to hold her. I'll stay right next to you. This must be overwhelming for you."

At Edwards' gentle squeeze on my waist I handed Renesmee over, eying Rosalie with distrust. All hands left my body, except Edward comforting touch.

When I was sure she stayed put I looked up to the others, hoping for some explanation. I kept Rosalie in my sight thou.

"What… What was that? What happened to me?"

It was Edward who answered me in a soothing voice.

"That was all Renesmee. It appears she has a special gift."

I tried processing that information, replaying the images again.

"She showed me what she saw and experienced?"

Edward nodded. I was awed and curious. I felt like I didn't know my own daughter at all. It was unsettling. I inhaled deeply to settle my nerves. Her unique scent calmed me. I held it in before exhaling deeply. I watched everyone quickly. They were all relatively relaxed, although I knew they were alert and ready to intervene. Rustling behind me reminded me of the wolves. They were still present. I hated it. Edward must have sensed what I was feeling somehow; or Jasper felt it and Edward read it in his mind. He whispered in my ear.

"Ignore them. This isn't about them. Do you want to hold our daughter again?"

I nodded and Rosalie put her in my waiting arms. I cradled her against my chest again. The heat of her little body was seeping through my clothes. It felt nice. The first shock was over, now I could appraise her more. I took her in, completely.

I saw and felt her little fingers grasping my arms. Her fingers were slender, not puffy like you would see with a newborn baby. She wasn't chubby anywhere. Instead she was slender and beautifully proportioned. It seemed so strange that she was a newborn; she didn't look like one. It was abnormal and I tried to understand. How was this possible? I caressed her soft cheek.

"You are absolutely perfect, little Renesmee," I cooed at her.

She smiled. One of my hands held her to me while I traced her features very carefully with my other hand. My fingers trailed over her eyebrows, her nose, her jawline, her throat, her sternum and settled over her beating heart. The hummingbird-like thumping of her heart soothed me. I drank her in, imprinting her in my memories.

"I love you so much. You are special, you know. What did you just show me?"

She didn't answer but touched my cheek again. A small voice resounded in my head.

_I love you too, mommy. _

Startled I realized it was Renesmee's beautiful voice. Her voice was beautiful, it was difficult to describe how it sounded, but it was a mix between a singsong voice and a normal spoken voice. It seemed like that was also a mix between a human and a vampire trait.

"Won't you speak out loud?"

Right when I asked that, some things clicked together. All the things were there from the start and I had noticed them but somehow I didn't process what it all meant: she was supposed to be a newborn baby! Yet she didn't look like one, she could understand spoken words, could even speak. How is that possible? It scared me. I looked at Edward in fright. He looked worried. The atmosphere became less relaxed. Renesmee must have picked up my distress as her voice sounded back in my head.

_Did I do something wrong, mommy?_

I met her scared eyes. I relaxed my features immediately and smiled.

"No sweetie, It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay."

My mind was going a mile a minute. So many things were off about this, with Renesmee. I met Edward's eyes.

"How old is she? She looks so big for a newborn baby."

"She's three days old. She grows faster than normal baby's do. I think her vampire traits are responsible for that. We are looking into it," Carlisle answered my questions quietly

"Is it dangerous, what will happen? How is that even possible?"

"Why don't we put our daughter to bed first. Then we'll talk," Edward suggested. I nodded.

I heard a commotion behind me. I turned around, shielding Renesmee with my arms. She pressed herself against my chest. Jacob made a move to come closer. I took a step back. Some Cullens stepped in front of me.

"She's tired, let me take her, she needs sleep," Jacob stated.

A growl rumbled from within me. Renesmee's clenched hand on my arm, quieted me down. I wouldn't scare her. Edward held us protectively while addressing him with a cold voice.

"No! She stays here. Renesmee will sleep in the house in our room."

Edward led me back towards the house. He kept his eyes on the wolves.

"Don't worry, he won't come any closer," Emmett said menacing.

I casted a glance over my shoulder and saw the Cullens group together in front of the doorway. Jacob wouldn't get in the house.

Edward led me up the stairs. Renesmee was yawning more frequently now. We took the stairs to the third floor and our bedroom. Edward opened the door for us and sped by us to pull down the covers. I laid our daughter down and pulled up the blanket, tucking her in, with some help from Edward. He pulled, I just held the fabric. I didn't want to damage anything. Renesmee yawned again.

Me and Edward both got on the bed on both sides of her. She was turned on her side facing me. She held my gaze as I softly caressed her cheek. Her beautiful brown eyes blinked. Each blink took longer. She slowly brought her hand to my hand.

_I love you mommy_

Her tired voice warmed my heart when I saw her eyes close for the night.

"I love you too, sweetie. Good night," I whispered softly.

I looked over her to Edward. His eyes held so many positive and warm emotions.

* * *

Let me know what you think? It is actually quite a challenge to find the balance between rational Bella and "newborn' Bella


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews, follow's and alerts;-)

Sorry for the irregular updates. School year is coming to an end and my finals are coming up. I hope to write more when school's over. I won't be able to write for at least a month. So please stick with me.

**Huge thank you to my prereaders Dooba and Simaril, who took the time to read and beta this chapter.**

**Also thank you to Jezzeria for her advice**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

_On with the story... Back to newborn Bella  
_

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After I was sure Renesmee was settled and sound asleep, I got up and left the bedroom. I didn't want to leave her, but there were things that needed my attention. I felt the dormant frustration and edginess bubble up again. In a flash, I was on the porch. I noticed that night was falling; the sky had darkened. It made everything look different, more mythical. I stared at Jacob, softly hissing. He stared right back at me. His eyes were fixed on me, his jaw clenched.

I got antsy with the staring contest we seemed to be having. It put me on edge. I couldn't take it anymore, everything that happened beforehand with him preventing me from seeing my daughter, him wanting to keep her away from me… I was very grateful that the family stood up for me, but even if they hadn't, I would have fought him. While these thoughts passed in my head, a switch flipped. I growled and crouched down. I heard and felt people around me, but it wasn't enough to stop me. I lunged at Jacob. I ducked to avoid the closest vampire, who was trying to grab me. By the time I was off the porch, the female standing beside my target leaped. Her body was trembling terribly.

It was too late to stop my attack. Instead of hitting the male in front of me, I hit the female. However, she was a wolf now, a huge grayish wolf. I felt myself slam into her. Fortunately, I missed her head and her bared teeth. Her shoulder got the brunt of my attack. She yelped. We sprang away from each other, regrouping. During our collision, the male that I wanted to attack had shifted too.

I was just back in position when the voices around me registered. At least four people had caught up with us. The first male, the blond-haired one, darted between me and the wolves. He held his hand up, trying to keep the peace. I didn't care for his request, nor, it seemed, did the wolf, as we kept glaring at each other.

The male closest to me called to me. "Bella?" I whipped my head to him, still keeping the wolves and the other male in my eye line. The bronze-haired male came closer tentatively. His eyes held apprehension. My body was still ready to attack. He stopped just out of arm's reach.

"Bella, come back to me, please."

I hissed at his words.

I saw the female wolf being chastised by the russet-brown wolf, but she didn't let up. She turned her head towards me and bared her teeth. I didn't even get the time to do something before someone wrapped their arms around me, pulling me to his chest and placing his hands on my bare wrists.

I went ballistic at being restrained. I growled, wriggled, and kicked, but nothing helped. The foreign feelings washed over me. It was then that I realized who had grabbed me. This time however my body couldn't repel the calmness that washed over me. My muscles started to relax little by little.

I saw the female wolf walk back behind the russet-brown one, slightly limping on her front leg. Obviously, I did some damage. The third wolf – when did he shift? - A smaller, brown one went to her and nuzzled her head with his nose. My attention was drawn to the blond-haired male that stood between me and the animals.

I was still being restrained by the honey-blond male, while the waves of calmness kept washing over me. The male next to me took a step closer and touched my arm. Automatically, I hissed, snapped my head back to him, and bared my teeth. He held his hand on my arm though.

"Bella, it's me. Look at me."

His calm voice somehow soothed me. It was then that my mind calmed down completely.

The frenzied haze lifted from my thoughts. I was very wary and on edge because of the wolves, but everything came into perspective. I looked at Edward first. A small smile lifted his lips when he saw the recognition in my eyes. My mind was no longer solely focused on the wolves anymore. I felt like me again, a rational being.

I took in my surroundings. The ground was disturbed because of our feet shoving over it. It created a pattern of lines, some more pronounced than others. The trees seemed unharmed.

The one restraining me, Jasper, released me slowly. Probably sensing I was me again. He remained next to me though. He didn't trust the situation enough to step away. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. Everyone was still in the same position.

"Jacob, you're making this harder for yourself. We tolerated you while Bella was changing, but not anymore," Jasper spoke up.

Again? Why did they tolerate him in the first place? He drove me insane with his behavior and his stench. I gagged at it. He was going to tell me, now! It took everything I had to ask it and not just go at him again. Maybe he would finally leave.

"Jacob… Why are you still here?" It was a simple question, but it meant so much. It was also a question to the Cullens. Why had they tolerated him?

Jacob seemed undecided at first, then he squared his shoulders and raised his head, looking right into my eyes. It was like he was searching for something. I didn't know if he found it. Before he could open his mouth, Edward interfered.

"Tell her the real reason why you are still here," he said through gritted teeth.

Jacob nodded stiffly. "Do you remember what I told you about Sam and Leah?" His tone was softer. It still had some determination in it, but it wasn't as authoritative anymore.

At his question, a growl came from Leah. I directed some of my attention on her. She was still quite hostile, and apparently, Jacob's question didn't help. She held one of her front legs off the ground. When she saw where I was looking at, she growled at me again.

"Leah!" Jacob reprimanded her. She grew quiet. He looked back at me, imploringly. I tried to remember but drew a blank. I shook my head, frustrated.

"It's a wolf thing… Sam, Leah, Emily?" He was very careful with what he said. He wasn't comfortable with me knowing. That didn't forebode anything good. I tensed slightly.

Edward was losing his patience. "Get to the point, Jacob!"

Everyone in my line of sight watched me intently. I tried to summon memories, anything that made sense. At first, nothing came up. I hissed from frustration. I tried again. Different very fuzzy images appeared: me riding a motorcycle with Jacob, me in a wedding gown dancing with him, me lying on a couch while he held my hand.

Nothing about those three names though. I shook my head again, indicating that I didn't remember.

"I get very fuzzy images… But none about those three…."

Jacob sighed, disappointed. "Do you remember anything at all about imprinting?" he asked. The two wolves next to him tensed up. Even the vampires that I could see were more alert; if that was even possible, because they were already alert.

I watched him while trying really hard to delve deeper in my head. New fuzzy memories appeared: Jacob and me walking, he was explaining something to me. I replayed it over and over, trying to grasp what he said. Only a few words stuck. Something about imprinting? That was the word Jacob used. I focused more on that particular memory. Jacob was pushing a motorcycle. He was explaining about Leah, why she behaved the way she did. He explained what Sam was thinking, his reasoning.

At that last bit, suddenly it clicked and more things fell into place. I puzzled it together: Jacob's posture, his presence after I woke up, his reluctance to give Renesmee to someone else, his attempts to keep me away from her. He had imprinted on her!

I snarled. My body tensed, ready to crouch. My teeth snapped closed. My inner beast was rattling, trying to take the upper hand. Edward tightened his hold on me. Jasper stepped closer, laying a hand on my arm. His waves of calmness were the only thing that kept my rage controlled.

"How dare you? I barely seen her and yet you already think you own her? She is MINE! MY daughter. You are not going to be around her."

"You remember then? Bella, you know we don't control it. I didn't choose this. It just happened. I had every intention to kill her when I thought you were dead. I stalked towards Rosalie who was holding her, but then she looked at me and… it just happened."

I snarled at him when he said he tried to kill her. I wasn't the only one; Edward hissed. He must have read it before in his mind, but hearing it out loud was another thing. From behind me, I heard two others hiss. A quick glance over my shoulder told me it came from Emmett and Rosalie. They probably didn't know that bit of information.

"You are pushing it, mutt. Don't you dare threaten my wife. If I had known you were stalking her, you wouldn't be standing here anymore," Emmett gritted out.

Jacob held his hands up again. "It was before I made eye contact with her. The moment I laid eyes on her, every thought of harming the blonde or Renesmee left my mind."

"Should I be grateful that you didn't kill her? If you had harmed her in any way and Edward wouldn't have killed you, I would have the moment I found out." My exclamation earned a growl from Leah.

"Are you not listening? I can't hurt her, physically or emotionally. She is my world now. She means everything to me. If she hurts, I suffer too," Jacob forced out.

My eyes narrowed again. He sounded too protective, too possessive. I replayed my memory of Sam and Emily and Leah. The more I tried, the fuzzier they became. I could still grasp the critical point though: a love triangle. A love triangle where Leah couldn't win because Sam couldn't help it. He couldn't deny his feelings for Emily, stronger than those for Leah. He loved her with all he was… Because Emily was his imprint.

"You love Renesmee. You actually love her. Are you in love with her?"

He held her before me. He fed her, took care of her, loved her, before I even had the chance to meet her. Did he seriously think he had any claim over her because he imprinted on her? My anger grew. Edward lightly squeezed my shoulder to keep me anchored. I was thankful for that, as I felt myself getting worked up again. It must be difficult for him, too. I saw his jaw clench and fingers curl into fists as he stared at Jacob, daring him to answer me.

"It isn't like that! Do you really think Edward would let me stay if I crushed on his daughter like that? And believe me, Edward would know if I lied, remember. He read my mind and saw what I felt for her. Think about it. It's the reason why you wanted me around while you were still pregnant. It wasn't you but Renesmee drawing me to her. I can't explain it, but somehow I already felt some connection."

I hissed at his frustrated tone. He had no reason to be annoyed with me. The nerve he had to say that Renesmee had a pull on him while she wasn't even born! Although Edward and Jasper did their best in keeping me calm, it seemed my anger was getting the upper hand.

Carlisle stepped in to diffuse the explosive situation. I wondered where he was during the buildup to this. He was almost too late. It wouldn't take much to succumb to my anger. Carlisle looked at me then turned his gaze towards Jacob.

"Enough of this! We aren't getting anywhere this way. We don't want another fight. Jacob, you better be careful with what you say and how you say it. This is not the time. Frankly, I think you have to go, at least for a while. You made some serious judgment errors."

Jacob had the decency to murmur an apology at his reprimand. Then Carlisle directed his gaze to me.

"Bella…"

Jacob wasn't calmed down completely it seemed, as his posture became dominant again. "You can't forbid me from being around her. I can't risk her safety-"

Carlisle held his hand up to stop Jacob's protest. I heard Rosalie scoff from behind me. I eyed Jacob. I was so angry and frustrated at him.

"Stop. Leave! It isn't a suggestion this time, Jacob. Get out, all three of you."

"And stay away!" Emmett growled from behind me.

I felt movement around me and suddenly all the Cullens – save from Esme – stood together on both sides of me.

Carlisle tried to be civil. "I'm trying to find a compromise here, Jacob, one that will work best for everyone, but if you are going to keep pushing, you'll lose. When it comes down to it, and I have to choose, then I will choose Bella. The whole family is prepared to stand with her. It would be nice if you were there but if you can't settle down, I don't want you on our property," Carlisle stated.

Leah and Seth growled at him. They were answered by growls from all the vampires except Carlisle. The situation was at a breaking point, and Jacob held the key. His answer would determine the whole outcome. If he chose to keep pushing, it would result in a fight between the three wolves and the Cullens.

He looked around to everyone. He seemed troubled when his eyes settled on the mansion.

The Cullens stood tall with piercing eyes. They were ready to fight if they were forced. Emmett flexed his arms, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Jacob's eyes moved back to Carlisle. "I want to stay. I can't leave. If you want Bella close to Renesmee, I will be there. I can't allow you to let them together without me being present. I won't risk it."

I hissed at him. He was talking about me like I wasn't even here, standing next to Carlisle. Edward tried to keep me calm by rubbing my palm. His expression was stern and directed at Jacob. Jacob didn't budge though. Carlisle interjected before tempers would fly again.

"Right now, I want you out. You ruined your chance. This night, you will leave."

For a moment it seemed like Jacob would refuse, but a look at the united front of vampires changed his mind.

His shoulders sagged. "Fine, but first thing tomorrow, I'm back here."

I snarled. He backed away, looking at me and the other Cullens. With a last look at the third floor of the mansion, he turned around and ran into the trees. I heard clothes ripping followed by and chilling howl. The two other wolves cast a last glance at us before running after Jacob. We stood there a moment watching the spot where they disappeared between the trees, then everyone relaxed at the same time. For now, it seemed, we could live in peace. Tomorrow wasn't certain.

It was then that I became aware of my throat; it hurt. I inhaled deeply and whimpered as a searing hot pain flared up. I grabbed at my skin. Immediately the others concentrated on me again. I turned towards Edward.

"I'm thirsty. Please, it hurts. I need food!" I became frantic from the pain.

Edward took my hand from my throat and tugged me towards the trees on the other side from the mansion.

"Come on, let's go hunt."

We ran through the forest. Different smells assaulted me. Different sounds invaded my ears. My thirst drove me forward. My sole focus was hunting.

We sped in silence. I noticed suddenly we were being followed. The smell of three individuals reached me. I halted abruptly and spun around, crouching and hissing. My companion halted too and stood beside me.

"It's okay. It's just Jasper, Carlisle and Alice. They won't harm you. They are just to make sure no accidents happen. Calm down."

It didn't calm me down at all. The male next to me tilted his head, like he heard something. Then he took my hand and began to run again in the direction we were heading.

"Forget about them. They will stay back. You must be so thirsty. The sooner you feed, the sooner we can go back to Renesmee."

His words didn't do much to me. They just made the burning sensation more pronounced than it already was. I didn't care for everything around me. The male running alongside me urged me to locate a thumping sound. I focused all my attention on that. Sifting through all the noises of the forest. Finally, I heard it, thumping sounds coming from our right. I took off. I inhaled and multiple scents invaded my nose. I sped up till I saw what was ahead. A small herd of deer was grazing. I stopped and lowered myself. I stalked them, using the trees as cover.

They hadn't noticed me. I zeroed in on a deer on the outside of the herd. I looked at the path towards it, seeing some twigs and small stones. I went for the kill, avoiding the obstacles to remain quiet. The deer spotted me too late. By the time they made the move to sprint away, I was already on top of the one I picked out.

I heard bones crack while I wrapped my arms around her body and sunk my teeth in her neck. I gulped quickly. The warm fluid rolled over my tongue and soothed my throat. It didn't taste that nice, but it helped. All too soon, the body was drained. It was when I dropped it that I saw I wasn't alone. The male who accompanied me stood a few yards away with another deer. The animal was still alive but in shock. The male pushed the deer in my direction and nodded. I didn't understand his motives. Was it a trap? Would he attack me if I went after his meal? The deer remained still. It couldn't move, it was so petrified. The male cautiously nodded again towards the animal and took a step back. Was he offering me his meal?

The frantic thumping of its heart lured me in, and in a flash, I was next to it. I grabbed it and sunk my teeth in its neck. I gulped until all the warm fluid was gone. When I released it, I saw that I had crushed its windpipe. It tasted the same as the other one. While it wasn't delicious, it still soothed the burning sensation in my throat. I stepped away from the body.

My mind was more at ease now that the overwhelming thirst was quenched.

I looked up and saw Edward standing there. I smiled timidly. He approached me with a small smile on his lips. I wanted to hug him but he held me at arm's length. I didn't understand.

"Is your throat better?"

I nodded.

"Your clothes are ruined, love. The others are nearby. Do you want to clean up in the river near the house or do you want to use the shower? Alice has clothes and towels here if you want to use the river," he said with a smile.

I looked down at myself, seeing my bloodied and torn clothes. If I washed off in the river, I could return home and go straight to Renesmee.

"The river. When we get home, I want to see Renesmee."

Edward nodded, took my hand and together we ran back to the river. When we arrived, I saw a pile of towels and clothes neatly on the forest floor. I looked around but could see the others. Where were they? I sniffed and smelled them but they weren't that close.

"They are burying the deer you drained. You have privacy, don't worry."

At Edward's words, I calmed down and undressed. I was fully aware that he was behind me. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw he was turned away. I stepped in the water. I submerged myself completely. Underwater, everything sounded different.

I heard the water rushing over me, lapping at my body. It was a strange feeling. It should have been cold, but it wasn't, a nice thing about being a vampire. It was quite loud. It was like I was standing under the shower. It almost overrode the noises of the forest. I emerged my head from the water. I looked for Edward and saw him still standing in the same position. He looked so handsome. His bronze colored hair stood in all directions, his shoulders broad and pulled back, his hands in his pockets. It took everything I had, not to leap at him.

Warm fuzzy feelings coursed through my body. It tingled, made me feel happy and a little hot, and bothered. I emerged completely and got out of the river. As I neared him, he turned around. His eyes roamed over my naked body. When they reached my eyes, I saw they were black. I gulped and clenched my thighs.

He swallowed and looked into my eyes.

"Bella, don't you want to go back to your daughter?" he asked.

Like a switch was turned the warm fuzzy feelings disappeared. All my thoughts revolved around my daughter. I wanted to go back to her so bad. I nodded. He motioned to the piles of towels and clothes.

"Get dressed and then we'll go."

I turned towards the towels and picked them up. The material was so soft. I let my fingertips glide over the fabric. I could feel the texture of cotton. I brought it to my nose and inhaled. A wave of freshly washed cleanness invaded my nose, making me exhale relieved. It didn't smell synthetic like washing powder, but it actually smelled natural. It was nice and comforting. I buried my face in the fabric. Edward chuckled. I looked at him curiously.

"Do you like the towels?"

"They are so soft… and smell so nice…" I said totally in love with the towels. He grinned at my enthusiasm.

It was so smooth as I wrapped it around my body. I wanted to secure the towel, but when I pulled the ends together in front of me, I heard a tearing sound. Immediately I looked down and saw that I had torn the towel in two.

"You are stronger now. You have to learn how to control your strength. It will take effort from you. You have to think while you do it. Think like you are holding something really fragile."

It was frustrating. I held the torn towel in front of me, inspecting it. It was useless now. Annoyed I threw it away. In my annoyance, I used too much strength apparently, as I heard the fabric tear more. I eyed the second towel. Slowly I reached my hand out and let my fingers rest on it. Very softly, I curled my fingers so I held some fabric in my hand. So far, so good. I concentrated on my hand as I lifted the towel. I heard a little tearing sound. The muscles in my fingers relaxed some of its pressure in response. When the tearing sound stopped, I brought the towel towards my body. Now came a tricky part: wrapping it around me and securing it. I looked up at Edward.

His eyes were dark as he watched me. I didn't understand and tensed a little. Before it got too much, he spoke.

"Relax, Bella. I'm not angry. It's just that… You look very appealing right now… without clothes on… I'm sorry; it is totally not the time for this…"

I realized that I was still naked and the warm feelings came back. Edward gulped.

"Bella, remember Renesmee? You want to see her, don't you?"

His question brought me back to the task at hand: getting dressed. Renesmee! I wanted to see her. All my thoughts revolved around that longing. In my eagerness, I was too rough with the towel and it tore a little further.

"Careful. Fragile thing you are holding. Handle it very delicately."

His reminder made me aware of my overuse of strength so I concentrated again, being careful. Very slowly, I succeeded in wrapping and securing the towel around my body. I bend to pick up another towel from the pile to dry my hair. I tried to rub my hair with the towel but it tore. I growled in frustration. Edward came closer to me, taking the fabric out of my hands. He started to dry my hair smoothly.

"Don't worry, love. You will get the hang of it. It's difficult in the beginning. You did a good job so far. You only destroyed one towel. There are still some towels left, Alice must have seen your struggle with it, hence the spare ones."

His comforting voice and words soothed my frustration. Now I was glad that Alice stayed with me during my first shower. I would have destroyed the whole bathroom and all the fabric in it. It still annoyed me though. I hoped that I would master my strength soon so I could get things done myself.

"How long does it take to control my strength?"

"With some practice you'll get it right. We are all here to help you with this. You are indeed physically stronger than us but it's seven against one. So if things got out of control, we will be able to stop you. Plus if Jasper can get close enough, he can calm you down."

At Jasper's name I hissed softly. Edward looked deep into my eyes.

"Jasper isn't your favorite person right now, is he?"

It wasn't really a question, more a statement which I nodded tersely at. Jasper didn't seem so happy with me; it wasn't all from my part. I saw his black angry eyes boring into me, heard his cold voice and his commanding tone. His behavior combined with his scars triggered my defense mechanism. I didn't even have to think about it, it just happened.

"We will have to find a solution to that though. He will be very helpful with your struggles."

I narrowed my eyes, not convinced that Jasper would 'help' me. He would more like demand my obedience. Besides, right now, I didn't care. I had a little girl waiting for me. Thankfully, Edward didn't say anymore and continued to towel dry my hair. The feeling and movement of the towel felt nice, almost calming. I stared right in front of me. The flowing water was loud, but I heard the forest noises over it. Combined with the experience of my hair being dried, it relaxed me. My lingering anger about Jasper ebbed away.

Once my hair was almost dry, I shook my head, making my long hair cascade down my back. I combed my fingers through it to untangle it. Sometimes I was too forceful and pulled too hard on a knot, making me wince. When I was done untangling my hair the best I could, I unwrapped the towel and started the very difficult task of drying myself off. I managed to do that but when I was done, the towel was also torn. I dropped it by the already torn towel. Flickers of frustration mingled with the calmness in my mind.

I eyed the pile of clothes warily. This would be a disaster waiting to happen. Unfortunately, Alice wasn't here to help me this time. I was annoyed by the time this whole ordeal took. It was precious time going to waste.

I inhaled deeply, held it and breathed out slowly. I kept my focus on Renesmee. I had to do this right. I picked up the first clothing article, my underwear. My panties weren't that much trouble when I stayed focused and monitored my strength the whole time. My bra wasn't so easy. I wanted to clasp it closed on my back, but tore the straps. I growled in annoyance before throwing it on the pile of destroyed towels. When I went back to the pile of clothes, I spotted another bra. Alice must have seen it.

Somewhere in my mind, a small part was embarrassed at the thought that she had seen all this. The biggest part was annoyed and frustrated though. I looked at Edward to see him standing turned away again, his hands balled in fists in his pockets. Why would he…? O..oh, I was still naked except for the panties. A tingling feeling settled between my thighs.

"Bella…" Edward groaned. I watched the back of his head, confused why he reacted this way.

"Bella, if you keep this up, we won't be going to Renesmee. I can't control myself much longer. Please get dressed now, love." His voice was strained.

Right, my daughter. I was losing precious time. How could I forget her so quickly? I had to get dressed, now! With new focus, I picked up the bra, studying it closely. I had to monitor my movements when I closed the clasp. I put it on my body backwards. Now I could see the clasp on my stomach. Very carefully I brought the two endings together. I tried matching the two plastic hooks from the one side to the two little plastic loops on the other side. I maneuvered them until they were in the right position to hook together. It worked. The plastic parts were slightly deformed but the clasp held so it wasn't a problem. I moved the bra so it fitted correctly. I rolled my shoulders in relief.

Next, I picked up a shirt. It was soft and felt nice to touch. It had a V-neck but otherwise looked quite plain. It was beautiful but nothing fancy or complicated. I put my arms through the short sleeves and slipped it over my head. I ran my hands over it to smooth it out. This went alright, didn't tear it or anything. With renewed hope, I picked up the next item from the pile: pants. This was rougher. It didn't feel as nice as the fabric of the shirt. I balanced on one leg while putting my other in the right pipe, and then I put my other leg in the other pipe. It was a tedious job to keep my strength monitored while I pulled the pants up. I realized that it was a pair of dark jeans. The only thing left to do was close the zipper and the button.

I grabbed the zipper and started pulling it up. I felt the material give way under my fingers. A soft growl of frustration escaped my lips.

"You're doing okay, love. Almost done. You can do it."

Edward's words of encouragement placated me. I looked up and saw he had turned back around. He was facing me. When my eyes met his, I saw love reflected in them. It gave me courage to try again. The zipper was a little deformed, but it stayed zipped-up. The button took more work, but again Edward soothed me with encouraging words. Once I had that done, I smiled, happy that the difficult task of dressing was almost done. I looked back at the now decreased pile. A jacket lay on top. I grabbed it and saw it was an open jacket. It was made of soft but durable material. It could be closed with button but it could also be worn just hanging open. I was very happy. I closed my hands and shoved them through the long sleeves. I shook my upper body a little so the jacket fitted correctly.

The only thing left of the pile was a pair of open flat shoes. I stepped in them and wiggled my toes. They felt fitting but not too tight. I was elated. I did it. I grinned at Edward, who smiled back.

"Alice tried to pick out clothes that weren't too difficult to put on. So no expensive designer clothes or fancy blouses with buttons. And no heels, as you might break them off."

He seemed quite amused with that. At first I didn't understand what was so funny about that. Edward raised his eyebrows. I shook my head, I couldn't remember. Apparently it was an inside joke but I didn't get it. It annoyed me a little. Edward, sensing my shift in emotions, quickly changed the topic.

"Don't worry, you'll understand later. Let's just say that she had to restrain herself in shopping for clothes. It's for the better though. Are you ready to go back to the house, seeing our sleeping daughter?

I eagerly nodded and took his outstretched hand. We ran back towards the house. The forest around me, although very enchanting in the nighttime, held no appeal to me. I just wanted to go home. It didn't take us long to get back to the lawn. I leaped on the porch. I saw the rest of the family in the living room through the windows.

The dimmed lights created a homey-feeling. I soaked it in. I didn't dwell on it too much though. My attention was drawn to the third floor. I heard her heartbeat and breathing coming from our room. I inhaled deeply to sniff her unique scent. I was very happy when the foul stench of the wolves was diminished. It was still there, lingering around the house but not so potent.

I moved in a straight line towards our room. I had only one thing in mind: seeing my daughter. Being away from her made me anxious. I couldn't fathom that I forget her for a moment in the forest.

I watched Renesmee sleep in our bed. She looked so small in the big bed covered with the blankets. Her lips were slightly parted, and I heard every time she breathed out. I could see her body moving with every inhalation of air. She seemed far away in dreams. Edward came up behind me and embraced me, putting his head on the top of my head. He put a light kiss on my hair.

"She is so beautiful, Edward. Look at her. I can't even imagine something wrong with her."

I started panicking, the conversation with Carlisle running through my mind. She grew way too fast. She was something unknown. There were no answers, at least not that we could find. I knew the others were reading everything they could find that may clue us in. How do you protect someone you love from a danger you didn't know? I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. My muscles tensed.

"Sshh, love. We'll figure it out. It will be okay. So far, she looks healthy. Let's focus on that. No matter what, she's still our little Renesmee," Edward soothed me, squeezing me.

I nodded. He was right. No matter what was wrong with her, we would always love her. She was our daughter. We stood in silence in the doorway, looking at our peaceful sleeping daughter. I could stand here all night long.

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_Let me know what you think?_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews, follow's and alerts;-)

I'm back, did my finals. unfortunately I have to re-do a few in August... But I have time to write again.

**A huge thank you to my prereader ****Jezzeria****, who took the time to read and beta this chapter.**

**Also thank you to Dooba for her advice concerning some plotlines  
**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

_On with the story where Bella learns what it means being a mother and a newborn... (I have absolutely no experience in being a mom, I go by my imagination and advice from Jezzeria)_

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Seeing our daughter laying there peacefully, we walked closer to her and got on the bed. We lay on both sides of her simply enjoying each other's presence. When the first rays of daylight poured into the room, Edward got up. I watched him questionably. Where was he going?

"I'm just going downstairs, Esme wants to know what she should make Renesmee for breakfast," he whispered soothingly. He gave our daughter a soft kiss on her cheek and pecked my lips before leaving.

I rubbed her arm again, sighing contently. The past few hours had been peaceful; me, Edward and our daughter had snuggled together. Throughout the night I listened to the rest of the family. They went on with their business without making much noise. I was glad for this reprieve of quietness and calm.

My musings were interrupted by Renesmee's changing breathing pattern. She started stirring, signaling she was waking up. Her eyes blinked a few time, getting used to the light. Finally they settled on me. She looked uncomfortable. I was worried. Did she have a nightmare? Was she in pain? She wriggled her legs, squeezing them together.

"I think she has to go potty," Edward whispered from the doorway. He must have been back from downstairs.

I looked at him and then back to our daughter.

"You have to go? Come on sweetie."

I got off the bed, careful that I didn't hurt her. She raised her hands and I lifted her into my arms. Edward proceeded before us, opening the door to allow us into the bathroom.

I felt insecure. I didn't know what to do. I knew how everything worked and what should happen, I'm not that stupid. But how could I help her? I couldn't even dress myself without tearing things. I would harm her with my strength. I felt useless and I hated it. She was my daughter! Frustrated I clenched my teeth, not wanting to upset Renesmee still in my arms.

Edward kissed her head, before taking her from my arms. Then he cupped my cheek. He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

"Let me help. It's understandable that you struggle a little. Let me show you and you watch and learn, okay?"

I nodded, feeling slightly frustrated at myself. I should be able to take care of my own child. A very small hiss escaped my lips.

"Bella, calm down. Don't get worked up on this, love. You'll get there. And please be careful of the sink," Edward tried to calm me.

I looked down and saw that I had gripped the sink too hard. Immediately I retracted my hand, seeing four dents from where my fingers used to be.

"I'm sorry. It's just… So frustrating. She's my daughter and I can't even do something as simple as take care of her primary needs…"

Edward came closer and kissed the top of my head.

"Just watch for now."

He put Renesmee on the edge of the bathtub and pulled her pants down. Then he put her on the toilet seat. As an automatic reaction we both turned around to give her some privacy.

When she was done, Edward cleaned her and pulled the rest of her crimpled clothes of. He tossed them on the floor and grabbed the clean folded shirt that was laid on the cabinet next to the sink. Renesmee put her hands up so it could slide easily on her. She was only four days old and she already knew how to do this. It was mindboggling. Again it confirmed how rapidly she grew. Edward picked up underwear and slipped it over her tiny feet. Next he took some comfortable looking pants and pulled them into place. He kissed her head before handing her over to me.

I had been mesmerized by the whole process. I longed to do it for her myself. But I knew I wouldn't be able to yet, which frustrated me. On the other hand, I loved to see Edward interact with our daughter. He was so gentle and sweet with her. He cooed to her the whole time. I was right next to them but I watched from the sideline. When she reached her arms out to me, I became an active part of the family moment. I grabbed her very carefully. I concentrated on controlling my strength until she was tucked safely in my arms. When she was settled, her hand reached up to my cheek and her sweet voice sounded in my head.

_Morning, mommy._

"Good morning, sweetie. You slept well?"

She nodded her head and I watched as images appeared in my own. They were too jumbled to make sense. Edward embraced us both.

"She's showing you her dreams, or what she remembers anyway. Come on, let's go downstairs. Esme's preparing breakfast for the hungry little thing here," Edward spoke softly.

A rumbling sound came from Renesmee's stomach. I frowned. Was that how an empty stomach sounded? It was strange. Did the family hear it when I was human? You really couldn't hide anything from vampires' hearing. Together we made our way downstairs towards the kitchen. We passed the living room where most of the family was. They all greeted us. Instinctually I held Renesmee a little tighter. I felt wary of the crowded living room. In my mind I knew no one of the family would harm her, but still I didn't trust them completely.

Jasper raised an eyebrow, probably sensing my feelings of wariness and protectiveness. Rosalie stood up from the couch and came over. Without thinking I stepped back, causing her to frown. Edward kissed the top of my head and murmured in my ear to relax. This only made me tenser. Renesmee's stomach broke the standstill when it rumbled again.

_Hungry, mommy_.

I focused back on her. She needed food. I backed away from the living room in the direction of the kitchen. Edward still had an arm around us. It was only when I entered the kitchen that I turned around. A small plate was placed at the kitchen counter by the barstools. I walked over to it. The high stools didn't seem so safe for a small child. I set Renesmee on the counter, holding a hand protectively on her arm.

Esme greeted us warmly. I watched her preparing breakfast. My eyes took in the cardboard box of baby oatmeal, the jugs of milk and the pottery on the counter. The smells from the different ingredients were awful. I crinkled my nose in disgust. How was that even edible? I walked closer to her and the 'breakfast'. Edward took my place and stood in front of our daughter, to prevent her from falling of the counter. Esme put everything together in the small bowl. The smell got worse. She looked at me with concern, before giving it to me. I sniffed it and nearly gagged. This couldn't be safe! What was this? This couldn't be healthy. My daughter would not eat something bad!

I hurled the bowl across the kitchen. It clattered against the opposite wall, right next to the doorway where Rosalie just appeared.

"Wow, what's happening? What's wrong?" Rosalie asked uncertain. She eyed me carefully. Her eyes showed me she didn't understand my reactions.

I hissed at her and Esme and then eyed the remains of the supposed breakfast. They followed my line of sight and frowned. Didn't they smell it? Didn't they know that the food was rotten or off? I wouldn't allow my daughter to even taste one bit of it and they would feed her a whole bowl? Unbelievable! I swirled around facing Edward and Renesmee, who was now hanging on him with all her strength it seemed. Was she scared? And he, didn't he think the food was off? Had he fed her this food for three days? I narrowed my eyes at him, staring him down. I didn't understand how he could jeopardize our daughter health like that.

"Bella, what's wrong? You are scaring her. Please calm down and tell me," Edward asked while meeting my stare with a mixed expression.

I took a step closer to him. Rosalie and Esme remained where they were and the others who were in the living room stayed put. They had ceased their activities to listen, but didn't approach the kitchen, for which I was glad.

"Can't you smell the food is off? How can you give it to her, she'll get sick. Has she been eating that for three days? How-," I exclaimed on the verge of anger. Everything was shouting in my head to grab my daughter and keep her safe from everyone else. She wasn't safe here if they gave her spoiled food.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie roll her eyes and chuckle. Without thinking I turned around and in a flash I was right in front of her. My nose was almost touching her nose. I hissed at her. She thought this was funny? What did she think was so funny? Giving my daughter spoiled food or me being protective of her? Was she making a joke out of me? All these questions only made me angrier. I got right in her face and snapped my teeth.

"Do you find it funny? How dare you? This is my daughter and I refuse to let anyone harm her. Giving her spoiled food certainly proves that you aren't trustworthy around her. I won't allow you or anyone for that matter to cause her harm or discomfort!" I snarled at her. My instinct was taking over. My child could get sick here; I couldn't stand by and do nothing!

The next moment Emmett appeared next to Rosalie. He stood tall and protective next to her but somehow didn't make a move to get to me. It was like he was giving me a silent warning. I was conflicted: Renesmee's safety was my number one priority but at what cost?

Rosalie spoke first "Relax, Bella. I wasn't laughing at you. I just think your reaction was funny. The food isn't spoiled, it's what all human food smells like for vampires. Everything smells disgusting for us. It doesn't mean it's rotten."

She gave me a small smile. I eyed her suspiciously before looking to Edward. I was still unconvinced.

"It's true love, the food is off putting for us because of our nature; being vampires… It is perfectly okay for humans. If I didn't trust it, I wouldn't allow our daughter to even smell it, let alone eat it," he said in a reassuring tone.

I felt conflicted. Somewhere I knew that our family wouldn't risk my daughter's safety but still. They were vampires. If the food smells disgusting anyway, how could they tell that it wasn't from being rotten? I seriously doubted their logic in that department. And Rosalie, she seemed unfazed by my concern. She even chuckled and explained it like I should have known it already. I eyed everyone in the kitchen and then the remains of the hurled bowl.

I didn't know what to believe. It made me angry. How could I make a good decision if I didn't know who to believe. I felt my mind battling with itself. I knew Renesmee needed food, but was it safe? With a last look at Rosalie – and Emmett – I backed up 'till I was next to Edward and our daughter. She had eaten this before so she could tell me the truth, right?

She looked at me with wary eyes. I must have scared her. Immediately I felt bad. It wasn't my intention to frighten her. I would have to settle my arguments when she was out of earshot. I met her eyes and she calmed me down. I picked her up from Edward's arms and nestled her against my chest, her butt resting on my arm. I stroked her cheek carefully.

"Hey sweetie, sorry if I scared you. Are you hungry?" I asked softly. I knew everyone was still around but I needed this moment. I needed to know that she was safe.

Her hand came to rest in my neck while she kept eye contact.

_I'm hungry mommy._

Her answer didn't surprise me, her stomach had rumbled a few more times during the whole ordeal. I wasn't ignorant, but her safety was my priority at the time.

I walked with her towards the counter where the ingredients stood. Esme backed up. I shot her a small glare.

"Do you like this for breakfast?" I asked her. If she refused, I knew enough and I would have to think real hard on how to keep her safe. Fortunately Renesmee nodded her head and made a move to grab the box. I exhaled in relief. Her approval of the baby oatmeal settled my nerves somewhat. I eyed the stuff, but knew I couldn't prepare it.

"Esme, can you please make a new bowl for her?" I turned towards her. She nodded and approached us. I backed up, with Renesmee still in my arms. I might have approved of this breakfast; I still wasn't completely at ease.

Edward came up to me and kissed my head lightly. I looked up to him. I saw no judgment in his eyes. Emmett was still planted next to his wife, arms crossed and eying me. Different emotions swirled in Rosalie's eyes. I didn't see any anger but some longing, jealousy, understanding? What made her feel that way? My line of thinking was interrupted by Esme.

"Bella, the baby oatmeal is ready," Esme spoke softly. She walked over to the barstools and placed the bowl on the counter.

I left Edward's embrace and cautiously walked over. I took a seat and placed Renesmee on my lap. I wrapped one arm securely, but not too tightly around her waist to prevent her from sliding off my knees. I inhaled the smell coming from the bowl and scrunched my nose. It smelled so bad. I had to trust my daughter's words though. I looked at the spoon next to the bowl. No way was this going to work. If I didn't deform it with my strength, I would surely use to much force when I brought the spoon to her mouth.

Edward took the stool next to us and took the spoon. I met his eyes and gave him a thankful smile. He nodded and scooped some food up. I was glad he didn't try to soothe me with my disability to take care of own daughter. No matter what he said, in my eyes it felt like a disability. That aggravated me a top of the past few minutes, I was ready to snap. I concentrated on what happened between our daughter and my husband's interaction. I shifted and angled us so that we faced him. This way he could feed her easier. Watching them made me relax for a moment. I felt the tension leave my shoulders and exhaled a little in relief.

From the corner of my eye I saw Esme cleaning up my earlier thrown bowl with food. Emmett had an arm wrapped around Rosalie while she rested her head on his shoulder. A small smile playing on her lips while she watched us.

I kept an eye of my immediate surroundings while watching Edward feed our little girl. She seemed to like the food as she always eagerly accepted the next spoonful. My nerves settled somewhat. I would have to figure out how the Cullens prepared something and how they determined if something was eatable for my daughter. For now I was content. When Renesmee refused to open her mouth for the next spoonful, I guessed she was full.

Edward took her from me and put her stomach first against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. He softly patted her back, softly rocking her. I furrowed my brow.

"She doesn't need to burp after she's done eating, but it's just to keep her calm. So her stomach can settle" he answered my unasked question. I nodded and watched. After a few moments a soft rumble came from her belly. He pulled her around and cradled her, giving her hair a kiss.

"Did you like that? Yeah you did, didn't you? Mommy was a bit worried but we did alright with the food hmm?" It melted my heart to see him cooing to her so sweetly.

Footsteps coming closer to the house alerted us that people were approaching. My head snapped in the direction of the noise. The others in the kitchen also looked that direction. The peaceful atmosphere made room for anticipation and tension. I inhaled and gagged when the foul stench of wolves invaded my nose. My nostrils flared in anger.

Carlisle moved to the porch and stepped outside. I tightened my hold on my daughter, holding her closer to me and shielding her from view. Rosalie stepped between me and the doorway with a grim face. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and clenched his eyes shut for a second. I could only guess it was from hearing Jacob's thoughts. Voices outside made me focus on what happened on the porch.

"Jacob, good morning," Carlisle greeted him with a guarded voice.

"It's morning, I'm back. You can't forbid me from seeing her," Jacob answered back in a voice close the rudeness.

I growled softly. He had no right to show up and demand things here. I felt rage building inside of me, my shoulders tensed. Nothing was holding me back from storming outside and confront him. Immediately Jasper was in the kitchen at my side. I hissed at the sudden appearance. He startled me. I let my guard down, I was focusing so much on Jacob that I forgot the people inside. Jasper glared at me. I glared right back. Edward intervened, effectively stopping the beginning of a stare down.

"Bella, we won't let him inside if you don't want to. His behavior yesterday was anything but appreciated. But he still imprinted on Renesmee. We can't forbid him to ever see her-"

I interrupted him with a snarl, feeling frustrated and angry. I looked at him, trying to understand what he was saying. But Jacob's presence just outside the house overrode my ability to think very rationally.

"Maybe we should let Bella say her piece to Jacob. Maybe he'll get the hint," Rosalie said matter of factly.

"Rosalie, you are not helping," Jasper rebuked her, "Besides Renesmee likes Jacob. Not seeing him would hurt her."

That made me stop short. I was at a loss for words. Jasper peered into my eyes.

"I can feel her emotions and when she's with him, she's happy. She likes being in his arms. Don't ask me the reasons behind them. I can't tell you those, but I can tell that she likes Jacob's presence."

His words registered in my head. She likes being in Jacob's arms? A small twinge of betrayal bloomed inside my heart. It was irrational. I couldn't blame my daughter for her feelings. She was so young and innocent. Her feelings were pure and untainted. She had no notion of the difficulties between vampires and shape shifters. The rational part of me knew this. The other part however had great difficulties with accepting that. My thoughts whirled trying to understand what all this meant.

I looked at her and I knew that I couldn't stand in the way of her happiness. If she wanted to be with Jacob I couldn't deny her. It didn't mean that I had to like it. When I locked eyes with her, an instinctual urge took hold. She was my daughter. I had to protect her. I couldn't let her be with temperamental wolves. Besides Jacob, I had to consider his other 'pack members' Seth and Leah. It was too dangerous to let them near her. I got frustrated at my dilemma. What choice did I have?

Everyone in the kitchen eyed me warily. A voice from outside decided for me though.

"Do you really want your daughter to suffer because you can't stand it that she likes me?" Jacob asked unbelievingly.

"JACOB!" different people shouted. A red haze clouded my eyes and in a flash I was on the porch, lip curled so my teeth showed and crouched. A growl came from deep within myself as I stared wolfboy down.

My ability to speak disappeared. I was consumed by rage.

"BELLA!" I heard several people shouting. It wasn't enough to bring me back to myself.

Suddenly the bronzed haired male stood next to me, facing Jacob.

"That is enough! Jacob I'm warning you, I won't hold her back this time. You overstepped your boundaries." His voice shook with anger.

"Let her have her go with him. Maybe the pup will finally get the hint," a female voice suggested.

"We can't, consider Renesmee," a stern male voice immediately replied. I hissed at the mocking voice. I hated that voice and the owner of that voice. I was about to snap at it when the words registered. The red haze disappeared completely. Renesmee was more important. She couldn't see me like this and if she really liked Jacob, it would hurt her. I calmed down somewhat.

Everyone outside seemed to realize I was more myself again as their tense posture lightened a little. Carlisle stepped up… again. His calming yet authoritive demeanor was very useful in these kind of situations.

He observed the whole situation, looked at everyone with a thoughtful look on his face. He inhaled and exhaled softly before he spoke.

"This isn't going to work if we don't solve this once and for all. I understand that it is difficult for everyone involved but this can't last. Everyone is on edge and it isn't good for Renesmee."

I was rocking on my feet, getting aggravated at his words. His words seemed accusing. Jacob's presence didn't help me to stay rational. A snippet of my homecoming after my first hunt passed through my mind.

***Flashback***

"_Welcome back, Bella, have you fed well?" Carlisle asked me. _

_I nodded, unsure of what was about to happen next._

"_It seems you had quite the hunting experience. It was to be expected, though." _

_Did I hear disappointment in his tone? Was he disappointed in me? But, I acted on instinct; every rational thought just flew out the window when I smelled that human. If I wasn't so intoxicated with it, I would never give in to my instinct. I didn't mean for it to happen. I was getting worked up. A wave of calmness slowly overcame me. I snapped my eyes to Jasper, who was once again watching me intently. _

"_I didn't mean for it to happen." I directed my answer to Carlisle "I was just… I don't know, I smelled him and suddenly I wasn't me anymore. You know I wouldn't do this." _

"_I know that, Bella, but it is what you are. As a newborn, it was to be expected –"_

"_You mean you blame me? I should have controlled myself better?" I interrupted rudely._

"_No, that is not what I'm saying. I'm saying that we have to be more careful than I anticipated." He looked at me, willing me to understand him. _

***End flashback***

Carlisle seemed disappointed in me then, was he disappointed in me again? My hackles rose. He wouldn't blame me for Jacob's behavior! How could he tolerate Jacob's behavior? Why did he get free passes? Wasn't Renesmee my daughter? Since when did he get a say in things, because he imprinted on her? Which brought me back to my earlier questions: why did the Cullens allow him to be present when I was changing? They somehow accepted him while I was burning. Was he as demanding as he is now? Or is he more demanding because I was awake? My thoughts went in circles. The same questions and frustrations always came back. My frustration grew slowly but surely.

"Bella?" Edward nudged me. I snapped out of my musings and looked at him. He stared into my eyes. He must have sensed my tumultuous thoughts. That and Jasper must have noticed my fluctuating emotions. That earned a spark of annoyance directed at him.

He raised an eyebrow, before looking stern at me and Jacob. His posture was distant but also very much present. He intimidated me.

Edward nudged me again, forcing me to look at him. Where was our daughter? I searched for her heartbeat and located it still in the kitchen. Esme's scent was concentrated around her so I guessed she remained with our daughter inside.

"Bella, we'll figure something out. Your frustration is understandable. Jacob's thoughts however show me how much he needs her as well." He looked into my eyes, willing me to understand. Suddenly his head turned towards Jacob. He listened intently to what Jacob was thinking. I got inpatient.

Edward nodded at him and spoke aloud, "Jacob wants to propose a compromise of some sorts."

I bristled, he wouldn't dictate me. Edward peered into my eyes while cupping my face. He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. When he was certain he had my attention he softened his voice.

"He's willing to compromise. If it wasn't for our daughter, I would have chased him away; I would be the first one to put him in his place. But… our daughter needs him, she's attached to him already. He's not my favorite person either."

"I don't like him. He's putting me on edge. His behavior, his stench,…," I crinkled my nose in disgust, "she's my daughter, yet he has more time with her," I whispered softly.

His thumb brushed my cheek.

"I understand you, I get it. What if we let him be 'around' under strict rules off course. One misstep and we negotiate the compromise again."

I wasn't happy at all with this. Jacob disapproving humph didn't help matters. Before I could react, Carlisle stepped in.

"I think this is a good compromise. We'll have to work out the details, but…"

Since when did he decide how things would go? Carlisle wasn't my favorite person either at the moment. Edward's touch calmed me down though. Still, the slumbering feeling of frustration and anger grew.

Jasper looked at me, sensing my emotional rollercoaster.

"Perhaps we should end this face off as quickly as possible. Tempers are flaring and this won't help matters," he spoke up.

Carlisle sensing the unstable situation, looked at Edward, "Edward, this is your call."

Edward brushed my cheek again before putting and arm around my shoulder pulling me against his side. He faced Jacob. He squeezed my shoulder. Before he opened his mouth he looked at Jasper and nodded.

"Jacob, you get to spend time with Renesmee for a few hours," my eyes snapped to him with disbelief, "You will stay on the front porch and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett will stay here. You will listen to them. Do you understand?"

Jacob didn't look happy. Edward stared him down.

"Take it or leave it, Jacob. This will be the compromise: you get to spend some time with her but outside the house and in the presence of the family," Edward stated.

It was obvious Jacob wasn't thrilled with the conditions, neither was I, but it was the best I could hope for. Since the Cullens refused to send him away. That thought stirred the slumbering cocktail of frustration and anger inside of me. Jasper made his presence more known by stepping closer.

"Fine, I'll take what I can get… for now. I don't want Renesmee to be unhappy so if this is what you allow, I will agree to it," his tone wasn't grateful.

"Believe me, mutt, I'm not happy with it either," I hissed at him.

"Okay, now that is settled," Carlisle cut or dispute short, "Jacob wait here; outside. Bella, why don't you spend some time with your daughter?"

I eyed him distrustful, but Renesmee's heartbeat lured me back inside. I found her and Esme on the couch in the living room.

I sat down very carefully and stretched my arms. Esme handed me my daughter and I cuddled her gently, minding my strength. Renesmee's sweet scent calmed me and for a moment I forgot everything that had just happened. Edward stood in front of us, looking down at us with love in his eyes. I looked back at him from above our daughter's curls.

In that moment I wished that it was just us. Just me, him and our daughter, enjoying each other. Getting to know myself again in this new body, getting to know my husband again. Learning about our daughter. She was mere days old and yet I couldn't enjoy being with her. Everyone knew her better than me, they all had an opinion over how I should act or behave with her. She was my daughter, but it didn't feel like it. Shouldn't I be the one who's closest to her? I couldn't take care of her primary needs because I had zero experience with babies and my new strength, but with Edward's patience and help, I would get there. They just had to give me a chance! The slumbering cocktail rose again.

Renesmee's uncertain thoughts invaded my head as I felt her warm soft touch on my throat.

She showed me how my expression changed while Jacob approached earlier, how I ran outside. She showed me how she heard the yelling and the commotion coming from the porch. Her thoughts were mingled with doubts and anxiety. I didn't really know why she was scared. If it was because she didn't like the noise or if it was because she thought someone was in danger, like Jacob.

Immediately I felt bad. I forgot about her while I was outside. I forgot how she would experience it. I wish I could cry. I didn't want to upset her. I held her a little tighter, making sure I wasn't hurting her.

"I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. Mommy just got a bit angry, but not at you, sweetie. I love you so much," I whispered.

_Jake?_

"Jacob is fine. He's not hurt. Mommy was a bit angry at him, but we're okay."

It hurt me that she was so close to him. It proved what Jasper stated earlier about her feelings. My jaw clenched for a moment gritting my teeth. I swallowed the venom in my mouth. The cocktail of frustration and anger bubbled up and this time it was harder to contain it. I kissed Renesmee's head before looking up at Edward.

Different emotions swirled in his eyes. He seemed to debate with himself. The other Cullens stayed back, giving us a little space. He swallowed and steeled himself. He seemed to have made a decision.

"Why don't we let her spend some time with Jacob? On the porch with others present? It will settle her anxiety over Jacob's health and give you an opportunity to unleash somewhere safe."

I didn't like this at all. It went against every fiber in my body and mind.

"I wouldn't suggest it if I had any doubt about her wellbeing. She will be perfectly safe and some of the family will stay. No harm will come to her. It's hard for me as well to make this decision but her wellbeing – both physically and mentally – are most important. If that means spending time with Jacob…"

I could see in his eyes he didn't like it either, but he had a good point. Looking down at our daughter I nodded.

"You want to spend some time with Jacob?" I asked her just to make sure.

She nodded eagerly. I nodded and tried to smile to make her see that I was okay with it. Slowly I stood up. Edward put his arm around us and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm proud of you."

Everything in my body battled me when I made my way to the porch where everyone still stood. Edward stayed right at my side. Most of them looked guarded while some couldn't hide their disagreement. Rosalie didn't hide her disagreement at all and it warmed me somewhat. I she stayed behind I would be a little bit at ease. She rooted for me from the moment I woke up as a vampire. I didn't trust them completely and was still fully alert around them, but out of all of them I trusted her the most. To leave Renesmee behind when I – and Edward – were gone, was another thing. It went against everything: my newborn vampire mind, my motherly protective urges, my distrust against Jacob and the wolves in general,…

"It will be alright, nothing will happen to her. Nobody would allow it," Edward murmured against my ear.

Rosalie stood tall and took a step closer, "I will look after her. Jacob won't get away with anything. I know you don't trust us completely, but Bella, _nothing_ will happen."

The strength and protectiveness in her voice settled me somewhat. She sounded so fierce that I had to believe her. It was very difficult to do, but I handed my daughter over to her slightly outstretched arms. I looked into her eyes looking for any sign of deceit. I only saw sincerity and resolve. I exhaled slowly and kissed Renesmee's cheek.

"I'll be back later, be good. I love you"

_Love you too, mommy_

I took a step back, away from them. Edward quickly pecked her cheek as well.

"Be right back. Love you," he said softly.

His eyes snapped towards Jacob. His jaw clenched. Jacob faced him nonchalantly. His behavior irked me.

"Jacob, enough," Jasper cut in sternly from the side.

Jacob schooled his facial expression more and looked more sincere. I didn't buy it for one second. I eyed Rosalie again and she nodded. Out of all of them, she would understand me the most.

Carlisle had stepped closer and placed a hand on Edward shoulder.

"It'll be alright, son."

With that Edward grabbed my hand and we walked towards the steps leading to the front lawn and the forest. I looked back over my shoulder seeing everyone still in the same position. Edward squeezed my hand when I unconsciously tightened my fingers.

"I'm sorry," I whispered painfully. I had hurt him.

"Shh, it's okay, I understand."

Walking away from our daughter was the most difficult thing I had to do in the few days I've been awake as a vampire. All the previous times I had walked away was because my thirst overrode my senses. Now my thirst was manageable, leaving my mind perfectly capable of experiencing walking away from her. It hurt.

The fact that Jacob was present, made it so much more painful. Edward's hand was the only thing making me walking further away. I knew the moment he released my hand, I would run right back to her.

* * *

_Let me know what you think, love to hear your thoughts. _

_Next chapter will be more action filled as Bella unleashes her frustration and anger towards her family_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thanks to all who reviewed, followed and reads this story;-)

Please check the a/n at the bottom

**A huge thank you to my prereader Jezzeria, who took the time to read and beta this chapter. When I was writing it I felt it was too much and extreme but she assured me it was fine. I had fun writing it though  
**

**Also thank you to Dooba for her earlier given advice concerning some plotlines**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

_On with the story, where Bella has reached her limit and explodes…_

* * *

The forest looked somber beneath the clouded sky. The grey clouds made everything look plain and dull. A small wind brought a heavy but subtle scent. I inhaled and eyed the sky. It seemed loaded, like something was approaching.

"There is rain coming," Edward explained when he saw what I was doing.

I frowned and got a bit excited, "We can smell the rain?"

"Yes we can, it's amazing isn't it?" he chuckled at the amazement in my voice. I nodded, eying the rolling clouds intently.

My excitement was interrupted when I heard movement. Immediately I looked behind me. We were just passed the tree line and through the trees I saw some Cullens had left the porch making their way towards us. I turned my head towards Edward. I didn't understand, why were they coming?

"They mean no harm. We think some things just need to be hatched out. It's nothing bad, I promise."

Warning bells went off in my head. I stopped and planted myself firmly. I refused to take another step. What did he mean? And why did he use 'we'? Are they teaming up against me? How- I couldn't even finish my thoughts as anger flared up. How dare they? How dare he, my husband?! Under the current of anger a twinge of betrayal and insecurity made itself known. What did they want? What did Edward want?

I felt like he put a knife in my back and twisted it. I wished I could run back to the mansion and grab my daughter. What was Edward's real reason for dragging me away from her? While I was consumed with doubts the others had caught up. Immediately I growled as I saw who joined us. I looked in the faces of Carlisle and Jasper. The two I disliked the most. I narrowed my eyes and clenched my teeth.

"Bella, Bella, I'll explain everything but not here. Let's move a little further. Renesmee can still hear us," Edward tried to rationalize.

It only worked because he mentioned our daughter. I shot him a glare before taking off. I heard the others following but giving me some space. Edward ran next to me in silence. The beauty of the forest didn't register at all. Almost all of my attention was focused on what had happened this morning and what would happen next. A small part of my attention monitored the others' movements. Everything replayed over and over again in my head, causing the frustration and anger to boil.

By the time we reached a small clearing, the doubts and insecurity had made room for aggravation and anger: all directed at the Cullens and Jacob. When I was in the middle of the open field I halted and twirled around. The three others stopped as well. Edward stood very close to me while the other two stood a few steps away.

The way they watched me made my hackles rise and my muscles tense. It looked like they were taking me in, like they were judging me. I felt myself tense up further. Why did they lead me here? I felt cornered and I didn't trust them. It went against everything my mind considered safe. I shuffled my feet, beginning to feel uneasy. I observed my surroundings. I had to have a back-up plan. I could easily run towards the trees and run away. I was faster than them. However, I would have to run the other way, away from the mansion, away from my daughter. A small snarl passed my lips at that thought. They had effectively blocked the way to my daughter. I gritted my teeth and my nostrils flared in anger.

I couldn't run away and leave her behind; no way. Could I evade them and run around them back to the house? No, and even if I could, there were still some Cullens at the house. Not to forget Jacob and his 'pack'. There was no chance I could get Renesmee without facing them. I felt even more cornered. My instincts were urging me to do something, but my mind didn't see a way out.

Edward! My eyes snapped to him. How could he do this? What was the meaning of all this? When I looked at him the two most dominant emotions coursing through my head were betrayal and anger and a small twinge of hurt.

"We aren't here to judge you, love." He took a step closer. I took a step back. He raised his hands in surrender and a flash of pain masked his face.

I wanted to trust him, I really did. I knew he was my husband and I knew he wouldn't betray me. But nothing made sense right now. It was confusing and that irked me.

"Bella, we took you here because your emotions are all over the place, which is perfectly understandable. However you have to realize that we are not the bad guys. We are your family and we love you. You can't lash out every time something displeases you-" Jasper said.

I cut him off with a hiss. It sounded like he was lecturing me. My anger rose. I felt the foreign feeling trying to wash over me. I hissed again. Was he trying to manipulate me again? I met his intense stare with a glare. He won't control me! My emotional tumult must have been getting to him because his eyes darkened to the verge of being black. He looked frightening.

"What Jasper is trying to say, maybe with the wrong words is-," Carlisle tried to defend him. I didn't want to hear it. Carlisle was just the same.

Edward stepped in my line of sight, blocking the other two from my view mostly. He put his hands on both sides of my face, seeking eye contact. It took a few milliseconds before I could calm myself enough to acknowledge his attempt. I peered into his eyes.

"I love you, Bella. I just thought that it may help you if you could hear for yourself that they are not disappointed in you. I married you, Bella, and it was the best day of my life. Every day since I met you and now with our daughter… I want to be happy with you. I just think that some things need to be cleared up," he whispered softly.

Somewhere in the haze of anger, frustration and other emotional tumult, his words warmed my heart.

"Just hear them out, okay?"

I inhaled and exhaled "I can't promise anything, Edward. I'm willing to try but…"

Couldn't he see what I meant? Didn't he understand how Jasper's demeanor and expression looked to me? Was he that oblivious to all that? Or did he think Jasper was right? Jasper didn't hide his apprehension and trepidation towards me. He has to have noticed it and heard it in his thought. Him urging me to listen to Jasper, was that a sign that he agreed? Unexplainable anger surged through me.

"NO!" I shouted.

My memories of all the looks Jasper gave me since waking up played in my head. His demeanor when I woke up, when I came back from hunting, when I had bitten Edward. He looked hateful and judgmental. All those memories coupled with his scarred face and arms, made my instinctual mindset come to the surface. I crouched down, watching all three of them. I couldn't let them overpower me. And Renesmee, she was my daughter, they won't keep me away from her. While I stood here, that mutt was with her, playing with her, holding her,… That last thought was enough to let my instinct take over.

Jasper shifted a little, eyes almost completely black. His eyes concentrated on me. I hissed when the foreign feelings tried to overtake my body. He won't subdue me with his gift. I refused. When he noticed it didn't work, he became more frightening. He didn't make a move but his demeanor changed again. He looked disciplined and prepared.

"It seems she is too far gone to rationalize it. Perhaps a more hands on approach will help her better to settle," he informed the others. I growled lowly.

I eyed them all; Carlisle didn't look too pleased but seemed to make amends with it. Edward looked conflicted.

"Please don't hurt her, Jasper. You may be my brother but…," Edward warned. What? He approved?!

"I won't hurt her, she's my sister. I think she needs this. Her mind as a newborn needs this."

That was the final straw. As I looked into Jasper's condescending eyes, I snapped. I didn't think. In my mind, the lines between Jasper and an aggressive opponent began to blur. I was so angry with him and the other Cullens. The rage I felt bubbling up however wasn't rational. My instinctual mindset urged me to answer their derogatory behavior. A red haze clouded my mind making it difficult to still 'recognize' them as my family. Since I was eying Jasper, he was the first one in the line of fire.

I just lunged at him. He seemed to anticipate my attack as he stepped to the side at the last moment. I missed him and skidded to a stop. Swirling around I crouched and curled my lips, growling at him. He didn't move a muscle. I got frustrated at his obviously lack of interest. He stood there, not making a move, just watching me.

I heard a lot of movement around me. People were approaching. Not much later, two more individuals broke through the tree line. I felt the air around me vibrate as someone rushed over to me. The suddenness of their approach, made me angrier. Were they working together? Were they here as a trap? I jumped back. I wouldn't let them sneak up on me from the side or behind. I angled myself so I faced everyone in my surroundings. I listened very intently but didn't hear anyone else in the forest. I turned my back towards the trees and observed the scene before me.

It took every ounce of willpower to still recognize them. Jasper was still standing there, impassive and stoic. Yet his eyes were darker and his muscles were strained. Alice stood next to him, trying to talk to him. Emmett made a move to come closer. He looked tense and ready to fight. I growled lowly to warn him. Edward put an arm out, stopping Emmett from coming closer. I kept growling softly, my muscles tensed, fingers curled. Emmett eyed Edward questionably. He only shook his head and looked at Jasper, no doubt reading Jasper's thoughts.

"You can't interfere Emmett. Let her work it out. She won't be able to settle with the pent up frustration. Maybe a good fight will calm her down," Edward answered his unasked question.

Alice was trying to talk Jasper out of his plan, with not much success. Jasper looked at her, cupped her cheek and pecked her lips.

"Trust me, she needs this. She has to learn her place. She's a newborn and her emotions need an outlet. Let her work through it," he whispered soothingly. She eyed him with uncertainty.

"She'll hurt you," she whispered. Edward and Emmett eyes narrowed. I hissed at Jasper's declaration of me needing to learn my place.

"I'll be fine. Stay out of this. She needs to get her piece, otherwise she will remain this tense," he reassured her.

I snorted, he was delusional. If he wanted a fight, he could get one. I took everything in. I ran at Jasper again. This time he shoved me back. He didn't use much strength, but it was enough to make me fall backwards. I planted my feet and skidded to a stop. Through strands of hair I saw him dust himself off. Alice flitted to his side. Edward was fidgeting, he wanted to interfere and call this quits. Carlisle and Emmett didn't look too enthusiastic, yet they didn't make a move.

I righted myself and faced them. Jasper was too hard to tackle. He was a well-seasoned fighter, all the scars and bite-marks confirmed that. Besides, Alice was at his side. If I went after him again, she might interfere. I estimated I could take her, but not combined with Jasper. Carlisle's movement made me focus on him.

When I looked at him, I recalled his disapproving words after I came home from hunting and his part in Jacob still being around. He was the leader of this family; his lack of interference made it okay for Jacob to be around. He said he would choose my side, yet I haven't seen him actually doing that. With each passing thought, my anger directed at him, grew. I stalked closer, still keeping an eye on the others. They wouldn't take me by surprise.

His reactions and expectations of me drove me over the edge. I felt, experienced, smelled, learned,… so many things at once. How dare he expect me to be the perfect little vampire? It was all so much, yet he took every chance to make his dismay noticed.

With those last thoughts I got right in his face and snapped my teeth. I was so angry. He didn't move a muscle but he looked unhappy. Not in an angry way but in an avoidance kind of way.

"I don't want to fight you, Bella. I won't cause you harm."

I peered into his eyes, trying to understand why he refused to do anything. I hissed at him. Before I could do anything else, I felt and heard someone come closer. The next thing I knew, two strong hands grabbed me.

"That's enough, Bella."

"Emmett," I hissed.

I wiggled so that I could see his face. What I saw shocked me. Emmett actually looked like a vampire. His eyes were dark, his muscles tensed, his posture stern. It made me gulp. His looked very dangerous.

"If Carlisle doesn't want to fight you, you don't force him," he stated.

His statement and his appearance made me crazy and I struggled harder to get out of his hold. My breathing picked up and I felt myself getting worked up. Somehow I got out of his hold and took some steps away from him. I lowered myself, ready to lunge at him.

He got into a fighting position, crouched and fingers curled. His nostrils flared and I could see his biceps were tensed. I eyed him. He was bigger than me, stronger than me, more experienced than me; everything told me that I couldn't possible win this. Not did I only have to fight him, if I won, the others would be there. However I was so worked up, my muscles so strained that my rational mindset couldn't pull through. My frustration, anger and all other emotions were too strong.

It felt like I couldn't control myself anymore. My body and mind needed an outlet. Emmett was the one who pushed me over the edge. Everything in my eyesight was perfectly clear, yet I had only one goal: showing them that I was my own person. They couldn't dictate me, they couldn't control me, they couldn't forbid me from interacting with my daughter and they couldn't decide who was allowed with her. I was her mother, I decided; me and Edward.

At that thought I looked at him. He looked very uneasy. He didn't want this. Neither did I, but it was too late. There were too many things that aggravated me.

With that I leaped and collided with Emmett. But this time I started to lose the knowledge of who he was. As we pummeled on the ground, my mind started to see him as a very strong opponent instead of a Cullen; a brother.

I landed on top of him. Immediately I was thrown of him and he sprang to his feet. I mimicked his action and we started to circle each other. The distance between us was always the same. The nearness of his companions drove me into action. I changed directions and ran to him. He braced himself, planting his feet firmly on the ground. By the time I reached him, he flipped me over, which made me hit the ground a few meters away from him. I sprang to my feet immediately and propelled myself. He spread his arms slightly, holding his place. As I reached him, ready to go for his torso, he flipped me over again. This time I landed on my back next to him.

He looked down at me with dark eyes and thinned lips. His expression was serious, he seemed determined. In a flash I was on my feet and away from him. I wasn't going to lay there and let him have me! His companions were very close. I felt threatened and growled to warn them.

A male stepped closer. My attention was drawn by his slow approach. The blond-haired male opened his mouth. Immediately I crouched down and hissed. One step closer and…

"Bella, please. There is no need for this."

His words didn't make any sense to me. I heard him but didn't 'hear' what he said. While he was speaking he had taken a step closer. My nostrils flared and I went to him, growling lowly. The male stepped back, raising his hands. I stepped closer with every step he took back.

It frustrated me that he evaded me, yet kept mocking me.

"I'm not fighting you, Bella," he stated.

I sped up and when I reached him, he stepped to the side. I snarled and went at him again. Again he simply evaded my attack. It aggravated me. It didn't make sense; he didn't react like he should. As I looked into the male's face I saw his eyes weren't black. I hissed and pushed myself forwards, pushing my feet from the ground to get more speed. As I nearly reached him, I was abruptly intercepted and forcefully flung to the side.

I was momentarily shocked and caught off guard. I regained my senses and control over my body quickly though. I twisted my body and landed on my toes and fingers. I skidded and felt my fingers dig through the ground. I came to a stop just when the sole of my feet touched the tree trunk.

Through the swirling dust I saw a figure coming closer from the direction I was flung in. I curled my fingers into fists as I stood up. The muscled male stopped a meter before me, rolling his shoulders.

"Enough, Bella. You don't attack Carlisle," the male said with a tension filled voice. I growled and ran up to him. I stretched my arms out and with all my strength pushed him backwards. He flew backwards. He collided with a tree before he could control his body. The tree cracked and shook. Leaves and other debris fell down. The male turned around, clearly pissed off.

He stalked closer and then stopped.

"That it, I've had it! Come on, Bella, I'm waiting."

"Emmett, don't-,' a male's voice warned him.

"I don't care. I'm done. Show me what you got, Bella!" he silenced the other male and provoked me.

"If you even-" I didn't listen to what the male's voice was saying. Nothing really registered from what was spoken.

I jumped up and all but ran at the muscled male. I saw red, completely red. The moment I was close enough, he grabbed me and lifted me up while using my speed. He 'redirected' my path and threw me towards the trees.

With a very loud CRACK, I crashed into a tree a few meter above the ground. The tree trunk tore and broke. I fell down with branches and leaves and parts of the trunk.

After the collision with the tree someone rushed over to me. I looked up and saw it was a bronzed-haired male. The enormity of the crash into the tree and the landing on the ground, caused my mind to settle somewhat as did my emotions. I started to feel like my own again, meaning I could acknowledge and recognize the vampires around me. I crawled on my hands and knees till I was standing up again, with Edward's arms embracing me. I was panting from the fight.

Although I couldn't get psychically tired, I felt exhausted. As I searched for him, I saw Emmett panting as well. He stood up and dusted himself off. His eyes were solely focused on me. His clothes were wrinkled and soiled with dirt from the forest. He looked really roughed up. As my eyes swept around I saw the other three standing around us in different spots. Some were roughed up from my 'disagreements'.

Jasper's eyes, that were completely black before, started to change to dark gold. His eyes still held that same sternness and judgmental look. Looking into his eyes I felt my feeling of exhaustion melt away, to be replaced by anger and frustration. He narrowed his eyes at me. I hissed at him. He was provoking me. He righted himself to his full height

I met his eyes with one of my own. The anger and frustration triggered my beast to come out. Looking into the scarred face and the dark gold eyes, combined with what just happened here in the clearing, was too much for my just barely returned rational mindset to comprehend.

"This is enough-," Edward proclaimed in Jasper's direction, but the damage was done as my instinct took over and I stepped out of his embrace. He was too surprised to stop me. The moment I was free, my eyes focused on one person. I raced towards the honey-blond one. I didn't get far as I felt a strong hand grab my arm.

I turned around, surprising the male that held my arm. His moment of astonishment was enough to break free. With all my strength and speed I threw myself at the scarred honey blond male. He might be experienced but my speed caught him off guard as I was able to latch myself onto his torso. I wrapped my legs around his waist and lowered my mouth towards his throat. My bared teeth nearly sunk into his flesh when I felt an excruciating pain in my neck.

Teeth were breaking through the skin in my neck. I howled and released my hold. Around me pure chaos erupted, but it faded away as my whole being was focused on the teeth that sank into my neck. I struggled against the hold the male had on me, which caused me more pain.

"Enough!" a voice whispered deadly calm close to my jaw. I ceased all my movements, paralyzed by fear.

The male retracted his teeth from my neck, causing another whimper from me. The next moment I felt his hand wrap around my throat. He used his body and strength to slam me on the ground, never releasing his hold on my throat. I was trapped as he moved on top of me. His pitch black eyes bore into mine. He tightened his grip. Feelings of fear and anxiety battled with feelings of hatred and anger. My mind was struggling with which option to choose: fight or flight. My body hurt and the bite in my neck burned. I felt liquid running from the wound down into my hair.

A heavy weight was pressing on my stomach and I realized he was pinning me down with his knee. He snarled right in my face. A noise escaped my lips, a mix between a whimper and a growl.

The next moment the weight was lifted from me and the hold on my throat was gone. Without a thought I jumped up, leaped away a few feet and crouched. Frantically I scanned my surroundings. Every noise invaded my ears at once. It was so loud, too loud, I whimpered but stopped abruptly; the threat wasn't gone. I saw everything play out in front of me.

The honey blond one was held by the throat by a bronzed-haired male. Both their eyes were pitch black. Two other males tried to separate them, while a female looked indecisive between me and the three males. I growled at her, baring my teeth. Immediately the honey blond male reinforced his struggle to get free. The bronzed-haired one snarled and bared his teeth.

"JASPER! ENOUGH!" he shouted. He was shaking with rage.

The female gave me one more look and then decided to give her attention to the males. She approached carefully. The two males who tried to separate the others eyed her before tentavily taking a step back. Their attention divided between their group and me.

I stayed still, unmoving observing them. Liquid was still running from my neck. The bite burned but I refused to tend to it. I wouldn't show them my pain. The bronzed-haired one shot me a look, his raged filled black eyes momentarily softened and a pained expression crossed his face. His head snapped back to the male in front of him, every trace of compassion swiped away.

"How dare you?! How dare you lay a hand on my mate?!" He was so angry, he was literally shaking with rage. Then like a switch had been flipped, he stilled. His posture tensed but stoic. He seemed eerie calm. A shiver went through my body.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't rip your throat out!" he spat.

This seemed to drive the female into action as she leaped and placed herself between them. The bronzed-haired male still had his hand wrapped around the other's male throat but she somehow squeezed her petite body in the space between their bodies.

"Edward, Edward don't," she exclaimed, "he didn't realized what he was doing, please, please, don't," she pleaded. She sounded panicked.

While they argued, my instincts to fight or flight raged. There were five of them. With my injuries I couldn't take them on. That left only one option: flight. The moment I realized that, the female's head turned to me, a distressed look on her face.

"Bella, stay, please don't run away. You are safe."

The others, alerted by her words, seemed to realize I was still there. The two 'free' males made a move to come towards me, while the bronzed-haired one gave me a pained expression. My hackles raised, snarling at the two approaching males. I held my ground and didn't move a muscle, but my head was screaming at me to run the other way. The only thing keeping me in place was the look on the bronzed-haired male. For some reason he mattered to me.

Then his head snapped towards his opponent. He curled his lips and hissed.

"She is not some random newborn! You are NOT with Maria, you are NOT in the South! Snap out of it, Jasper. You are in Forks, you just attacked my mate!" he snarled.

Everybody around them froze. The two previous approaching males snapped their heads towards them.

"Jasper?" the big toned male whispered disbelievingly. The other male looked shocked. I was missing something but I didn't care, I couldn't stay here. I made a move to turn around, when a voice stopped me.

"Bella, don't run. Think of Renesmee, think of our daughter."

Everything shifted. My daughter! I whimpered. I didn't know what to do. How could I run away when I left her behind? I couldn't. But… I couldn't stay. One look at the honey blond male was enough to get my flight-instinct into gear.

"Edward, please release him. He won't do anything," the female pleaded.

"Like he wouldn't do anything in the first place, right? He bit her, Alice, he nearly tore her throat out. I saw his mind, Alice. He didn't even recognize her, he had every intention of dismembering her; like she was some random newborn in his army," he hissed.

Again everything froze. I reeled at the exclamation; that male wanted to kill me, actually kill me. And if the others didn't step in, he would have. It would end, my existence would be over. I wouldn't get to see my daughter anymore. He would have ended me. That realization made me feel numb.

I watched the scene playing out in front of me. What just happened? Everyone was watching the male that was being restrained. It wasn't safe here. My self-preservation kicked in. I couldn't win this fight. Even if the bronzed-haired male was on my side, together we wouldn't get to my daughter. But I couldn't just leave her behind. The male seemed to be accepted; maybe he could take care for her? NO! I wouldn't leave her.

A frustrated hiss escaped my lips. I was cornered and I didn't see a way out of this situation. Fighting would get me killed, but running away meant to leave my child behind. I ceased all my movement, going absolutely still. I had to come up with something.

While I was considering this, the vampires in front of me had a very heated discussion. I heard a lot of hissing and low growling. Words were spoken but they didn't register. The bronzed-haired male still had his hand wrapped around the other male's throat. The female was pleading to get the male to release his hold.

Finally the big muscled male stepped in and put a hand on the bronzed-haired one. The last one slowly released his hold. At the last moment he hissed in warning. When his hand was gone, the female immediately looked after her mate. It was then they seemed to be aware that I was still here.

In a flash the bronzed-haired male stood in front of me. I hissed. I was riled up and frustrated with my indecisiveness. His sudden approach didn't help. His eyes were pained as he stood still and looked me over. His stare made me tense up, especially when his eyes lingered on my neck.

A brief glimpse of rage appeared on his face, before morphing back to concern and compassion.

"Bella, love?" he asked softly.

The tone in his voice and the look in his eyes made me realize who he was.

"Edward?" I whimpered. My rational mind took the upper hand and pushed my instinct down. My beast lay dormant again as I registered my family instead of my opponents.

The moment I recognized him, I was in his arms whimpering.

He tightened his hold in a comforting hug before pushing me back a little. He moved his hand slowly towards my neck. I tensed up. The wound hurt and burned.

He very carefully traced the still leaking bite mark.

"You're hurt. We have to take care of this first." On his last words his tone got angrier and I knew it was directed at the one who caused it.

I met his eyes before looking over his shoulder to the others. They had different expressions on their faces but none looked happy.

"This is going to hurt, love, but we have to clean it and seal it with venom, okay?" Edward whispered soothingly. His tone got tenser as he ordered Emmett to go hunt something small. Emmett didn't utter a word as he ran in the forest looking for a rabbit or something.

"The blood will help to seal it faster. This is going to hurt," he warned before he brought his mouth to the wound and started licking the venom away. I hissed. The burning got worse and I was tempted to push him away.

The others behind him shifted uncomfortably. I eyed them. Alice was whispering to Jasper. He looked defeated and Alice' eyes looked pained. Yet I couldn't find it in myself to care or feel sympathy for them.

Edward pulled back right as Emmett came back, holding a rabbit.

"I know it isn't much, but…" he said while coming closer.

Edward turned his back to me and hissed at him. Emmett stopped in his tracks. Edward rushed to him, grabbed the frightened rabbit and stood in front of me in a flash.

"Here, drink. It will help."

I crinkled my nose at the not so inviting smell of the animal but took it anyway. Its erratically beating heart triggered my hunting urge. I tore into its neck and gulped down the warm blood. It didn't taste so good but if it helped with the healing… Once it was completely drained I dropped it. I looked up to meet Edward's eyes.

He came really close and inspected my wound. I didn't feel the venom leaking, which meant the wound must be sealed. The burning was still there though.

"It will be unpleasant for a few hours, and then it will be a scar." Again his tone got tenser near the end of his statement. He placed a soft kiss on the burning spot and wrapped me in his arms. Together we faced the other Cullens in the clearing.

The silence was deafening and the atmosphere was cold. It was then that I saw the condition of the clearing. The whole place was uprooted, plants and flowers were destroyed, huge skid marks, cracked trees, branches and leaves everywhere. It looked like an earthquake had happened. No way could this be explained.

Emmett seemed to have come to the same conclusion "Maybe we should ask Sam again to help?"

"NO! No wolves!" I snarled. On top of everything here, I couldn't handle the wolves too.

"We will deal with this later. We have other things to discuss," Edward spat. He seemed to get angrier as time went on.

"We understand, however we have to take precautions Edward. You know that we can't risk it. Hikers could stumble upon this field. We better deal with it now," Carlisle reasoned.

Edward looked sharply at his father, listening to his thoughts.

"Fine, call them, but they are not coming over. I don't want them near Bella or our daughter."

Carlisle nodded to show his agreement and grabbed his cell phone.

"No reception, I'll call them once we're home," he said while tucking his cell phone back in his pocket.

The onslaught of everything came crashing down on me.

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_Let me know what you think? Your reviews make me happy._

_I need your opinion: the story is written in Bella's pov a lot of things might be unclear because she isn't capable of understanding them yet. Should I include a chapter from an other pov to give more insight? Or do you want to discover everything along with Bella? (Which is how I originally planned this story) Please comment._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Thank you for all who followed/favorited this story. I know a lot of people read it, but don't review. Please let me know what you think of this story. I appreciate all the feedback. If you have comments about something; I want to know them too.

I enjoy writing this story, so it would be nice to know if you guys have as much fun reading it. Even criticism is welcomed, if it is constructive of course.

**A very big thank you to Jezzeria, who made time to preread and beta this chapter. She is awesome.**

**Dooba's earlier given advice will be interwoven throughout the rest of the story.**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

_On with the story..._

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Edward squeezed me tighter. He hissed softly at Carlisle's statement. I felt strange and everything played over and over in my head. I wanted to go home to my daughter, how much time had passed? My neck hurt, Jasper's attack,… It was overwhelming and frightening.

Edward hissed again and gritted his teeth.

"Alice, take Jasper for a hunt. I don't want him near us. Why don't you all go for a hunt, everyone is thirsty." It wasn't a suggestion but more like a demand.

Carlisle and Emmett wanted to protest, but Edward cut them off, "go to the house, call the wolves from there and then leave. Take Rosalie with you. And Carlisle, make sure that Jacob and his pack are gone. I don't want them near us."

They both looked at me and then nodded at the demand. With a last look at me, they took off towards the house.

"Alice, leave, now! Jasper… This isn't over," he warned the remaining family members.

"I'm so sorry," Alice whispered before taking off with Jasper.

We stood in silence for a few seconds, listening to the others running away and the quietness that settled over the place. Edward lowered his mouth and softly kissed the bite mark on my neck making me whimper.

"I want Renesmee, I want to go but will the others be there?" I asked warily. I ached to see our daughter and hold her, to make sure she was okay. It'd been too long and the events that took place shook me up.

"Let's go. They will be there, they can't leave Renesmee alone but they will leave when we arrive. " he snarled.

I took off towards the house. Edward had trouble keeping up with me. When we neared the tree line at the edge of the lawn I stopped. I inhaled deeply and scanned the area. I smelled the stench of the wolves but didn't hear them. They must have listened and left. Edward stood beside me. I heard the hummingbird-like heartbeat of our daughter and a small smile played around my lips. When I inhaled again I noticed that there were still some family members present. I recognized the scent of Rosalie, centered around the beautiful scent of my daughter. A little bit to the left I picked Emmett's scent. Cautiously I made my way towards the porch. I hadn't forgotten what Emmett had done a few minutes earlier.

As I neared the steps, my daughter started to stretch her arms in my direction. I approached her while meeting Rosalie's eyes. She didn't look angry or disapproving. I had attacked her mate, so I was wary at first. But her eyes held no judgment. Without a word she carefully placed Renesmee in my arms. I held her close to my chest and kissed the top of her head. I inhaled deeply and the smell of Jacob was present; though it was vague, which surprised me.

"I changed her clothes, so that his scent wouldn't linger too much," Rosalie said softly.

Now that I observed my daughter more closely I noticed the difference in fabric. I noticed the moment I saw her when breaking through the tree line that something was different, but I didn't process what.

I met her eyes and nodded my appreciation. I hated that Jacob's stench mingled with my daughter's pure and sweet scent.

"Thank you, Rosalie," Edward acknowledged while he stepped behind me and put an arm around us, "Why don't you go hunt as well?"

"We'll be leaving; you have the house to yourselves. I didn't feed her, I guessed you wanted to do it. I hope you'll find some peace, Bella," Rosalie answered. A small smile played on my lips. It was the best I could do to show my thankfulness.

She nodded and moved passed us, towards the trees where Emmett was waiting. Together they disappeared. I turned and watched them until I couldn't see them anymore.

I shifted my attention back to the beautiful girl safely tucked in my arms. Her big brown eyes peered up at me.

"Let's move inside, It's passed lunchtime for our little one," Edward said while nudging us towards the kitchen.

I stood in the middle of the kitchen, cuddling my daughter. I watched him move around to put a bowl of baby oatmeal together. My mind was restless. The whole morning repeated over and over in my head. The bite mark on my shoulder stung. I trembled unconsciously at the memory of Jasper's teeth in my neck.

Renesmee must have noticed something was wrong.

_Mommy?_

Her voice sounded scared and immediately I willed the memories away. She was more important right know. Edward picked up on her thoughts as he abandoned what he was doing and walked over to me. He tilted my chin gently and peered into my eyes.

"I'm sorry for what happened back there, love. It shouldn't have come to that. I misjudged the whole situation. It's not the first time I misjudged a situation," he stated with a sorrowful expression.

I got the feeling that he meant more than only this day's events. I tilted my head, trying to see the meaning in his eyes.

"I'll explain later. For now, our little one needs reassurance," he answered. Then our daughter's stomach grumbled, "and some food it seems," he chuckled before pecking her on her forehead.

He went back to the counter and scooped everything into a small bowl and put a spoon in. I walked closer and seated on a barstool just like with breakfast. Again I held her while he fed her. The familiar scene playing out in front of me, settled my mind somewhat. I forced myself to stay in the present and not think about anything else than my husband feeding my daughter.

After she ate half the bowl she refused another bite, our cue that she had enough. Edward took her from me and just like this morning cradled her against his chest, rocking her slightly. After a few moments she started to yawn.

"I believe it's time for a nap," he cooed.

He stood up and looked at me. Careful not to drop her he balanced her on one arm and reached a hand out to me. I intertwined our fingers and softly squeezed his hand. He led us to our bedroom on the third floor. He nodded for me to get on the bed and I did, resting my back against the headboard. He gently laid her down with her head in my lap. He got on the bed and mirrored my position on her other side.

I very carefully laid my hand on her head. I was acutely aware of the strength I used when I moved my fingers slowly through her hair. When she shifted, I froze. Did I hurt her? Panicked I looked to Edward. He just smiled at mouthed I was doing fine. Still, I was very hesitant in continuing my ministrations.

Renesmee looked at me through her half closed eyes. Her hand reached up to my wrist. Her voice sounded very sleepy.

_Mommy? Are you angry?_

It pained me that she noticed that.

"I'm just a bit upset, sweetie, but not at you. Mommy was just a bit angry at someone else," I answered softly.

_I love you mommy. You're not angry at Jake, mommy? He's nice._

What could I say to that? I couldn't answer that truthfully, right? It pained and frustrated me that she liked him so much. But, It wasn't her fault. I couldn't hold that against her or be upset with her. However, I couldn't just simply ignore my opinion about that ordeal. Renesmee's questions opened up another can of worms: the imprinting. Edward softly nudged my shoulder, probably sensing where my thoughts were going.

I had to think of our daughter right now, so I willed myself to bury those thoughts and focus on her. How could I answer this question? It's obvious she picked up on the tension between me and Jacob, so I couldn't lie about that. If I told her that he was one of the reasons I was upset it might hurt her. I looked at Edward for help. I couldn't deal with this! I couldn't control my emotions enough and couldn't lie or spin the story into a half truth that would appease our daughter.

Thankfully he took over.

"Mommy's just a bit upset because she doesn't understand a few things. She's not upset with you or anyone specific," he told her.

I bit my lip to keep from snorting. That last part was a serious lie. I was angry alright and that anger was most definitely directed more to some people than to others. Edward's eyes flashed to mine, giving me a silent warning. I had to really concentrate on not answering his warning with one of my own. Renesmee's soft sigh snapped me out of it though. When I looked down, I noticed her breathing deepened and she relaxed her muscles. I guessed she was asleep.

The fact that she didn't ask any more questions alerted me that she understood, actually understood Edward's response. How was that possible? She was a baby and yet she could understand logical explanations already. It showed how fast she grew. Her mental capability grew every hour it seemed. It reminded me of the first time I watched her sleep. I was scared then because we didn't know anything. We still didn't know anything… It frightened me.

I felt myself getting worked up I had to get up! Very carefully I angled our daughter so that she leaned against Edward. Without looking at him, I scooted from the bed and walked over to the window. I stared outside. It had started to rain, just like Edward predicted this morning as we took off- Immediately that train of thoughts lead to the whole event that took place the last couple of hours in that field.

Everything just assaulted me at once. I saw and felt myself reliving those hours. I felt Jasper's teeth bore into my skin. My hand reached up to trace the mark without breaking my staring outside. I heard and felt Edward move from the bed and make his way towards me. For a few seconds he just stood behind me without touching me. I was glad because I needed to think. Then he gently placed a kiss on the bite mark before wrapping his arms around my waist. He rested his head on my opposite shoulder.

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly.

"I.. I… Everything… Our daughter, Jacob, the family,… the past couple of hours," I whispered in response.

He tightened his hold for a moment but didn't say anything. I kept staring outside.

"It's raining, just like you said it would this morning."

I felt him nod against my shoulder, "when it's over, we'll go outside. Everything smells different after a downpour, refreshed."

I nodded, I would like that. For a moment my curiosity picked up, "it does? What does it smell like? Why?"

"I don't know how to describe it. It's just… You'll have to smell it yourself. After the rain, everything just seems more clean, the dust and dirt has washed from the leaves." His chest vibrated against my back as he answered me.

I got eager to experience that. I stared at the rain, listening as it hit the window. It was raining quite heavily yet the sound was a bit muted.

"Why does it sound like it's muted. Shouldn't the noise of the rain hitting the window be louder?"

He chuckled and turned me around so I was facing his chest. I looked up at his face and saw a smile on his lips. His arms still rested on my waist.

"We have double glass, which is fortunate. It would be annoying for our enhanced hearing otherwise," he answered with another chuckle.

It made sense so I nodded. A silence fell over us as we peered into each other's eyes. The playful mood disappeared and the room became loaded. As we watched each other, the silence was only broken by our daughter's soft breathing.

I listened to it, trying to keep myself calm. I tried to match my breathing with hers. All the previous turmoil came back to the forefront of my thoughts.

"Talk to me." Edward cupped my cheek, tracing the curve of my left cheekbone. I inhaled deeply, welcoming his and our daughter's scents. They were the only thing keeping me grounded. So many things whirled inside my head. I tried to organize everything, tried to make sense of everything separately. It seemed one big mess; the more I tried focusing on one thing, the more another thing would demand just as much attention. It all seemed so important. I wanted to blur out all my concerns at once at the same time.

I opened my mouth but couldn't form a understandable sentence, everything was jumbled together.

"Shh, I don't understand a thing you are saying. Breathe slowly, use Renesmee to guide you." He stared into my eyes, waiting for me to follow his advice.

I inhaled and exhaled a few times. After a couple of breathes I matched our daughter's slow and steady breathing.

"Okay, good. Now take your time, try to manage your thoughts. We are alone, nobody is in hearing distance and they will stay away for a while," he calmly motivated me. He was still stroking my cheekbone and I leaned into it for a moment.

The first thing that I could think of was our daughter. She was the most important thing in my existence and a lot of things resolved around her. Scared, I shared my concerns with Edward about her. He must have been scared too, right? She was his daughter as well; he must have seen how 'different' she was? I used the word 'different' by lack of a better word; it was in no way meant to be derogatory.

"Renesmee, she understood you, earlier, when you explained to her why I was upset. How… She's just a baby yet she is so developed mentally. And I swear she has grown in the hours that we were… in the forest today."

"She is definitely 'different'. I agree that it scares me too, love. I'm not going to hide that from you. We don't know what this all means." I was glad that he was honest with me.

"Carlisle wants to do some test," he added softly, gauging my reaction carefully.

I looked over to her sleeping form. A feeling of anxiety overwhelmed me. What was wrong with our daughter? What did this all mean? Was she healthy? I felt like the first time I watch her sleep, the same thoughts and anxiety warred in my head. I wasn't happy with the idea of Carlisle doing tests on her. Firstly, I didn't trust him. The earlier events and his reactions to my first hunt put me on edge around him. Secondly, what kind of tests was he talking about? Would they harm Renesmee? I growled softly at that thought.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Edward drew my attention back to him.

"Will those tests hurt her?" I tried to keep my anger down at the prospect of Carlisle and him doing tests on our daughter.

"They wouldn't hurt her. Carlisle wouldn't dream of hurting her, neither would anyone of the family stand for it; I wouldn't stand for it." He willed me to believe him.

It was difficult but somehow I did.

"We will get to that later, okay? What else is on your mind?"

I mulled his question over. Jacob! The imprinting! At once my muscles tensed at I turned around spying the tree line. I focused on what I could hear, trying to hear if he was close by. Was he in the forest nearby, hiding in the forest? Was his 'pack' here? I growled again. Although I couldn't hear them, I was on edge. He had wormed his way into the family. He lingered around the house. He even got them so far that they left my daughter in his care while I burned!

As soon as I finished that line of thinking, my body started to tremble from anger. They had let him hold her, feed her, take care of her for hours and at night. My mind tried to wrap itself around that idea. It seemed too big to come to terms with. They had willingly given her to our enemies. The stench of them soiled her beautiful and unique scent. I gritted my teeth and glared at Edward.

He looked taken aback.

"Why did you allow Jacob to be involved with OUR daughter?!" I hissed lowly. In my rage I was still aware of our daughter sleeping on the bed.

His grip on me tightened a little.

"He imprinted on her-" I hissed, interrupting his lame attempt to explain the family's actions.

"You let her in his care, for hours! Even at night? Was there anyone from the family present?" My tone was venomous and quiet. His silence said it all.

For a moment my mind went blank. I simply couldn't comprehend it. He loosened his hold and hesitantly took my hands in his, intertwining our fingers.

"It was clearly a misjudgment we made. I can't apologize enough. We – I – thought at that time that it would be alright. I could hear what Jacob was thinking, and through Jasper's thoughts feel both his and our daughter's emotions. They were really platonic and pure; on both sides."

I heard what he said, but it didn't register all in my head. Different feelings reared up: anger, frustration, disbelief, doubt, betrayal. I stayed quiet.

"You have to believe me, Bella. If I had any doubt, even the slightest, I wouldn't have allowed it. I love our daughter and I love you so much. I wouldn't let anyone harm you," he stated firmly, peering into my eyes. Our eyes looked, gold anguished ones meeting black heated ones. My eyes must be black, with the rage I felt…

His exclamation stirred another topic that I willed down again. First priority was our daughter.

"Where was she at night?"

"She was with Jacob… somewhere…" He seemed hesitant to tell me where.

"Where did she sleep, Edward?" I bit.

"In a cottage at the edge of the property in the forest. It wasn't far. Rosalie and Emmett lingered around. Rosalie was very against the idea, which I guess you already knew. Leah and Seth lingered in the forest for the first few hours, and then Jacob sent them away."

I didn't know what to make of all this. I stepped out of his hold and went over to the bed. I sat down carefully as to not disturb the sleeping Renesmee. I sat and just watched her. I inhaled deeply, needing her beautiful scent. I held it and then slowly exhaled. Edward hadn't moved, just watched me in silence.

I stood and walked over to the window, watching the rain hitting the glass. Slowly I turned around to face him.

"I.. I don't know what to think of all this. I hate it. I don't like the imprint stuff. I don't like him hanging around her. I hate their stench. I hate that she likes him. I don't like the wolves so close, Edward, they put me on edge." I got more worked up as I spoke, my muscles tensing up again.

Edward stepped closer to me. He looked questionably at me before stepping right in front of me and embracing me, pulling me flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around my shoulders. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled, pressing a kiss on the top of my head.

We didn't speak for a few seconds. I tried to push the anger away, tried to rationalize it. Something just wouldn't give and I didn't know what bothered me more about the whole situation. Edward kissed my head again.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered pained. I exhaled slowly. I hated hearing the pain in his voice. Everything inside my being wanted to alleviate that down-feeling, but I just couldn't. I couldn't give it my 'okay'. Instead I settled for a light tightening of my arms around his waist.

The room was again filled with silence. This time it lingered for a few minutes. We were both lost in thought. I processed his words, trying to remain calm and not let the anger and frustration rear up. No matter how many times I tried to rationalize it, I couldn't come up with a way to make my peace with it.

The topic wasn't dealt with, but I had to let it rest for now, other urging concerns took the upper hand in my mind. My body tensed slightly. a new onslaught of unresolved emotions coursing through it.

Edward sensed it and moved away so we could look into each other's eyes.

"Tell me," he urged me.

"You said you wouldn't let anyone harm us, yet today…" I trailed off. I touched my bite mark. It still burned.

His eyes looked pained again and a flash of anger washed over his face. I tensed automatically. My body preparing for… I don't know where for. It was instinctual. The anger on his face slowly ebbed away, however not completely.

"There is no excuse for what happened today! It wasn't supposed to happen," he hissed. We were interrupted by the rustling of the blanket. We both looked over and saw Renesmee stirring.

"Her dreams are picking up on the noise from us, come on, let's go to the hallway," Edward whispered.

Slowly we left the bedroom and pulled the door close behind us. We could still hear our daughter perfectly, but she would have more peace.

"They are my family, right? How could they attack me like that? Why didn't you do anything to stop them? They harmed me and you just LET them!" I was getting worked up by thinking about it. I felt trapped in that field and yet he didn't help me. He should have protected me. Isn't that what mates do? Or did he think they were right? Did he support them?

My mind froze. He was my husband, my mate, he should have prevented it. Unless… he thought they were right. Specific things flashed before my eyes:

"_She needs this."_

"_She needs to learn her place."_

"_That's it! I've had it."_

I growled at the memories before shifting my eyes to him. He let them say that. He let Jasper belittle me, let them taunt me. Why?

They had set this whole thing up for what? So they could 'handle' me together? They had followed me at my pace, which I disliked from the beginning and then led me to an open field. Edward had suggested it from the start. What was his reason? Did he know how it was going to go down? A series of low growls escaped my lips.

The others who were in the forest went all willingly. Was that their intention from the start? I replayed everyone's action again in my head. Carlisle deserved some credit, he seemed unhappy and refused to fight me. Yet, he was there. He is the head of the family, yet he stood by while his sons went at me. He could have stopped them. He should have stopped them! Was he that disappointed in me?

I gritted my teeth, feeling the anger boil in my muscles. Emmett. When he barreled to the trees with Alice, he seemed very eager to have a go at me. It took every bit of strength to stay standing. He is unbelievingly strong. And Alice, didn't she see it? She must have as she came and with Emmett in tow. She must have seen what would happen. Yet she did nothing. She went to Jasper, stating I would hurt him. He nearly tore my throat out and yet she didn't do anything to prevent it, to stop it.

The burning bite mark itched and unconsciously I placed my fingers over it. No matter what I did, the burning feeling didn't lessen. How could they do this to me? They were supposed to be my family! I didn't trust them. How could I? What would have happened if Jasper had a second more? Would he have torn my throat out? He would have killed me! And what about Renesmee? What would they do to her?

She was my daughter. What would they do if I wasn't around? I balked at the thought. My eyes burned with anger and frustration as I directed them at Edward. Did he even realize what almost happened? What his family almost did? I took a step back, making the distance between us bigger. My muscles were strained.

Edward was about to say something, but approaching footsteps interrupted us. I focused my attention briefly on our daughter: she was still sleeping, safely on the bed. After that confirmation I didn't think anymore as I ran down the flights of stairs and on the porch at the back of the house. The foul stench aggravated me. The stench was dulled somehow though. Still, it made me gag. My breathing picked up as I saw a silver colored wolf broke through the tree line. I bared my teeth, growling at the intruder.

"Leave!" I snarled.

The wolf tensed. The hairs on his neck stood on end. I crouched down. I heard a movement behind me and then Edward stood next to me. He put an hand on my upper arm. I wanted to shrug it off but he was persistent.

"It wasn't wise to come, Paul. You could have called. Tell Sam that we are grateful for his help," he stated formally.

The wolf, Paul, bowed his head slowly to show he understood then he leveled his eyes on Edward. Edward gritted his teeth.

"That is not of your concern. It is dully noted. Now leave," he snapped.

Paul's big wolf eyes gave me one last glance and then he turned around and disappeared between the trees. His stench disappeared almost immediately. It was then that I noticed it was still raining. I didn't know that scents could be so dulled by rain. My musings stopped when I heard Renesmee's heartbeat pick up. I ran without a thought towards the house, made my way to the stairs and was next to the bed in a flash. It was only then that I realized I was dripping wet. It didn't matter, I had to see why my daughter's heartbeat picked up.

"She just has an intense dream, a good one. She isn't in danger," Edward's voice floated from the doorway. I tore my eyes away from our sleeping daughter to him. I gave him a small smile, nodding. He nodded back before disappearing. I heard some shuffling and he was back, making his way towards me with a mop.

"You left a trail of water, I cleaned it up," he said simply with a crooked smile on his lips.

I took a step back, resting against his chest.

"What are you thinking, love?"

"What did Paul want? What did he say that made you angry?" I asked apprehensive.

I sighed, making me frown and on alert. I turned around. He grabbed my hand and led the way towards the hall way.

"He came to tell that Sam and the guys have arrived on the field and are doing what they can to make it seem as natural as possible."

He wasn't telling me everything, I felt it. The mention of Sam made my antsy too. I looked into his eyes, silently urging him to continue.

"He also said that Sam wasn't too pleased with it."

I balled my fists, feeling my arms tense. I gritted my teeth. I kept completely still, waiting for him to say anything. He seemed unhappy and worried. He was thinking hard about something and then pinched the bridge of his nose. It did nothing to sooth me.

I couldn't question him further as I heard the blanket stir. Renesmee's breathing pattern indicated she was waking up. I swirled and went into the bedroom. Two half sleepy eyes looked at me.

"Hi, sweetie," I cooed.

"Why don't you go put on some fresh clothes, while I take care of our daughter's needs?" Edward asked warmly.

I had to admit that holding our daughter with damp clothes wouldn't be healthy so I nodded and went to the dresser in the corner of the room. I stood with my back to him and our daughter. I had to concentrate to open the drawers in search of clothes. I heard Edward speaking fondly to our daughter and then he picked her up and left the room.

I exhaled and forced my attention on my task. I heard a slight crack and immediately lessened my strength. After a total of sixteen minutes I had completed the task of putting on fresh clothes. As I picked up the damp clothes, I looked at the dresser. It had two new cracks in the knobs and one drawer hung a bit askew. I didn't want to try to correct it. It would most likely break completely from its hinges.

I walked towards the bathroom and threw my clothes in the open hamper. Carefully I closed the lid and Concentrated on finding my husband and our daughter. I located them immediately. The noise of the television and her heartbeat situated in the living room, drew me to them.

As I walked in the room I halted. The sight before me was so touching: Edward sat on the couch with Renesmee on his lap. He had a smile on his lips while she giggled at something on the screen. Edward turned his head and nodded. I made my way over to them. For now, everything could wait. My mind was still reeling from all what happened, but right now, I wanted to absorb the moment of peace.

Renesmee turned her head when she heard me enter the room. I walked over towards the couch and settled down next to them.

She reached out to me and Edward released his hold on her. I held my breath as I saw her trying to crawl. She tried to control her body and get on her hands and knees. She couldn't hold her balance though and she fell on his lap. He picked her up and placed her on my lap. She nestled herself close to my stomach and looked up.

"Hey, did you have a good nap?" I asked her softly.

She nodded her head while smiling at me. I bowed my head forwards and pecked her nose. She turned around and leaned against me while she focused back on the television screen. I cast a look and saw some cartoon was on. It was a white rabbit with a simple dress on and it was walking in a forest. Suddenly a little dog came on the screen and they started walking together. It was a simple cartoon, very simplistically drawn. I knew it was a child's cartoon.

I rested my head on Edward's shoulder and he kissed the top of my head. One of his hands rested on Renesmee's arm while his other hand came around my shoulder and rested close to the bite mark. He rubbed soothing circles on my shoulder blade, noticing I tensed up slightly. Then he traced the bite mark whispering in my ear that I was okay.

And for a moment, I was. I concentrated on the present. The rain hitting the windows, the noises coming from the television, Renesmee's heartbeat, Edward's breathing. For a few minutes everything seemed fine.

A musical interlude drew my attention back to the screen and I saw the credits of the cartoon rolling on the screen, signaling that it was done. Immediately after that another child's cartoon began. This time it was a white cat with a red t-shirt with a yellow button in the middle. It was again very basically drawn.

"It's a baby's channel. It's non-stop of these cartoons. It's safe for our daughter to watch," Edward whispered. I nodded, glad that such channel existed.

For the next fifteen minutes we sat in silence, enjoying Renesmee's giddiness at watching the cartoons. After the cartoon with the white cat, it was a cartoon about a little bee. It were all quite happy tales with lighthearted subjects. Edward had approved the contents of the channel so I wasn't too suspicious.

When the credits for that cartoon were rolling on the screen, Edward turned off the television.

"What do you say we have some fun?"

His tone was childlike and giddy. Renesmee drank it all up and clapped her hands. Then she placed her hand on mine.

_Play mommy._

"You want to play? Okay, let's play," I smiled. Edward knelt down in front of us and made a funny face making her giggle. Then he planted a raspberry on her belly . This made her squirm from giggling. I made sure she wouldn't slip from my lap though. He planted a few more raspberries all over her: her belly, her nose, her cheek and her hand.

He changed the game when he sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and held his hands in front of his eyes. Suddenly with a excited voice he dropped his hands and said

"Peekaboo!"

Renesmee giggled and waved her arms. I felt a smile tug my lips upwards. Edward met my eyes, smiling back. He did the peekaboo game a few times. Renesmee seemed to never get tired of it though.

He reached his hand up a ruffled her hair, before planting a kiss on her cute crinkled nose. He invited me to sit on the floor as well. So I monitored my movements while I shifted my body. Edward kept a close eye. I was a little scared. I could hurt her so easily. I did the change of position in slow motion, keeping a very close eye on my strength and her reactions. She didn't seem to find discomfort.

I exhaled in relief once I finally settled on the floor with her in my lap. Edward leaned over and kissed my lips briefly.

Suddenly his mood changed and he became tense. He halted his movements and listened carefully. I didn't understand what caused the change in his demeanor. It made me slightly panicky. What was wrong? I listened, trying to see if there was someone approaching, but didn't hear anything. I looked back at Edward, scared.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

I had to remind myself not to squeeze my daughter too hard in my panicked state of mind.

He met my eyes, his held different emotions: wariness, resolve, uncertainty. He closed his eyes briefly and looked at me. He opened his mouth to answer me, right as Renesmee put her hand against my hand again.

_Thirsty, mommy._

"She's thirsty," he said at the same time.

* * *

_Let me know what you think? Hit that review button  
_

_A/n: the cartoons mentioned in this chapter are Miffy, Musti and Maya the bee. In my opinion these are suitable cartoons for babies/small children. I know I enjoyed them when I was little:-)  
_


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